The Almost Teen

If living with a teenage daughter is worse than living with a pre-teen daughter I'm quitting now. I'll just pack my bags and run away to Margaritaville because I don't know if either of us will survive if things get worse.

This morning I woke Marissah at the usual time. She has 30 minutes to get dressed and get ready for school. She normally doesn't eat breakfast before school anyway, so that's not an issue. I had her get her backpack together last night (it was a premonition, I guess). At six this morning I reminded her of the time. For my courtesy I got snapped at. "I know, Mom." At five after, when she was still sitting on the couch in her underwear, I reminded her of the time. "Jeez, you don't have to keep telling me!" So I said nothing. At 6:15, the time she normally leaves the house, she was stomping through the house because she couldn't find anything to wear. "I have nothing to wear," she whined. "It's your fault! I can't wear these jeans! They feel yucky!" I'm trying to keep my cool, but it's getting harder and harder. I show her two pair of clean jeans that, to my knowledge, did not feel yucky last week. They, of course, were all wrong.

At this point I thought it might help to remind my dear, sweet (yeah, right) daughter that if she misses the bus and I have to drive her to school I am not going to be happy. I work from home in the mornings. I have another child to get ready for school and off to the bus. I don't have time for this kind of crap!

Finally she gets a pair of jeans on. We managed to find a shirt that would tuck in (school dress code) and she got her socks on. Which turned out to be all wrong. She insisted they were not hers. I know better. She's never folded a pair of socks in her life, so I am fairly certain she wouldn't know the difference between her socks and her dad's. I cracked the whip again (figuratively speaking, of course) and made her get her shoes on.

I think the thing that most surprised her was when I took her coat, purse and backpack outside and waited on the front walk for her. She walked out the door and I greeted her by handing her her things and instructed her to get her butt to the bus stop (which I had already scoped out to make sure she hadn't missed the bus). Of course, she was totally indignant over this. She actually stopped and put her coat on s-l-o-w-l-y. As far as I know she made the bus. I had already told her that if she missed it she wasn't going to school today and I wouldn't be writing her an excuse either, so she might have rather walked to school (about 3 miles) than come back and tell me she missed the bus.

I'm contemplating different ways to prevent this type of thing from happening again. So far I've had few good ideas. I could make her pick out her clothes the night before, but I know that would bomb. Those clothes would morph in the dark into something yucky, into a shirt that doesn't tuck in. Something would happen to make them completely unacceptable to her tastes. I suppose I could get her up earlier, but frankly that just gives her more time to whine and I have no desire to go through that. I've decided my best bet is probably to get that whip. And crack it frequently.

Frog Workers: A Short Book by Micah

Chapter One
Meet Frog

Toreston the frog had a shield. He was a knight. He had 70 other knives. He cuts down zombies in the city. He even kills skeletons. He thought that he might be able to kill mummies so he went to prove it.

So he went to a mummy tomb. He opened a casket. He didn't see a mummy. He thought that the mummy was at a bank and it's steeling.

He went to a bank and he saw another mummy casket. It said, This is called Antony's case.

And he started building a house for his self to live in. It had 3 bathrooms. He even had a secret chamber that leaded outside and he was zero doors. He tried to build a farm next to his house but it kept falling down like Lunding bridge so he sang Lunding bridge falling down, falling down whenever it kept falling to the ground. The end.

As you can see, Micah is my little writer. He loves role-playing games, so that's where the knight and mummy references come from. And yes, he also loves frogs. Me, I've never heard of a frog knight before, but anything's possible.

Make Money Fast!

Micah came downstairs this afternoon with about half of his life savings in his hand. He was a man on a mission. The mission? To find 50 cents so he'd have enough money to "Make Money Fast."

My dear, sweet, trusting, very naive son somehow wound up on eBay today. He said he typed "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" into Google and that's where he ended up. Highly likely. Anyway, while he was looking for his beloved Turtles an advertisement caught his eye. "Make Money Fast-Two Easy Ways." And that was all he needed to see.

Micah is a bit greedy. Well, maybe not greedy, but he definitely wants more. He has around $20 saved from his birthday and Christmas and he truly enjoys counting it and adding to it. It seemed perfectly logical to him to spend $12.50 on eBay to learn two easy ways to make more money. I'm sure he was even wondering to himself why his dad and I aren't using these Two Easy Ways. Oh, dear. If only it were that easy.

So, as you laugh at this cute story, imagine how difficult it was to explain to this very naive 8-year-old that this ad is a scam. It's not true. Sure, it'll give you ideas on how to make money (probably by selling porn or some really not nice email scam), but you should never have to spend money to get money. It sounds easy, but it really wasn't. In the end, I ended up calling his dad (who is on a work trip this week) and asking him to explain it. I don't know if he managed any better than I did, but we tried.

In the course of our conversation today I learned that my son has never purchased anything himself. He's never handed the cashier the money or bought anything on his own. So tomorrow afternoon we're going to rectify that. We're going to the store and he can pick out what he wants to buy and he can pay the cashier, too. With his money, of course. And, hopefully, we won't have him falling for anymore get rich quick schemes.

On a side note, I didn't think until right now to ask him how he planned to pay for his online purchase. I wonder if he thought he could put his dollars and change in the disk drive or what?!

Life Among the Heathens

The heathens have had a busy week. Last week they enjoyed playing in the snow. We got about six inches of heavy, wet snow. It was wonderful for snowballs (just ask Micah and Aaron), but it didn't stick around long. On Wednesday and Thursday we were in the upper 60s. Last night we got 2 inches of ice. Apparently when people say "Don't like the weather? Just wait a few minutes and it will change" they are talking about Tennessee. Crazy stuff! The boys were out playing for about 45 minutes today and they both came in with frozen socks and jeans.

Aaron has been enjoying the Winter Olympics, much to my surprise. He especially loves the skiing and snowboarding and Bodie Miller is his favorite athlete, even though he calls him "Bobby" most of the time. He's decided he's going to be a skier when he grows up and he's going to "defeat Daddy." More power to him! Today we watched a little hockey, but he doesn't care for that much.

Marissah is grounded.....again. She needs to learn to tell her parents where she's going to be before she goes there, not after. George broke up with her this week, but they're back together now. Seems he forgot he had a girlfriend. Hmmm...

Micah's lips are chapped and that bugs him tremendously. I told him the other night that I'd buy him some Chapstick for them. A little later he informed me that his lips hurt and he needed some "Chap." ;)

Marissah's Love Life

Yes, I am shameless. I can't help it--it's just so much fun to tease my daughter about her boyfriend. ;) After last week's dance (at which boyfriend didn't show up) I began thinking he may be a rat. He redeemed himself this week by giving her her first Valentine's Day gifts from a boy. She got a pretty silk rose, a teddy bear, some lollipops (which Aaron stole and ate) a necklace and a ring (I'm thinking Dollar Store, but hey, the kid's only 11!). We also got to see George on the news last night (he's cute, for an 11-year-old).

Today we're waiting for SNOW! Weatherman says 1-3 inches unless the front moves just a little bit south. In that case we could see 3-6 inches. Cross your fingers! I don't have to go anywhere and I'm stocked up on the important things, so I'm hoping to be snowed in for a few days!

Report Cards

Both kids got good report cards this quarter. Micah got all Bs and a "needs improvement" in handwriting (up from an "unsatisfactory). Marissah got a couple Bs, a few more Cs and two As. All in all, I'm very proud of both of them!

Micah made the B honor roll (he says "by accident" because he thought you had to have As and Bs to make it and he doesn't believe me when I tell him otherwise). He also won an Eagle Award, but we have no idea why. It's not the school's citizenship award. He probably got it for consistently driving his teacher insane. Marissah got a citizenship award (as usual-in all her school years she's gotten in trouble ONCE and that was for talking to her neighbor in KINDERGARTEN). She also got a perfect attendance award. Go kids!!!!

Micah's behavior in school has had a major turn-around in school since Christmas break. He used to get Gs (for good) and Ss (for satisfactory) every day for his conduct grade, with an occasionaly N or U thrown in for good measure. Since he's been back from break he's gotten all Es except a couple of Gs. He's so proud of himself and I am just giddy with excitement. Nothing's changed as far as his meds go--he's just finally getting the hang of raising his hand and following directions (his two biggest hurdles).

It appears that I am on the road to raising two decent, smart adults. Who would have thought? Of course, there's always my littlest heathen to prove me wrong, right?

The Valentine's Day Dance

Marissah's dance was a bust. George didn't show up. She wasn't as heartbroken as I thought she would be. Seems the boy is either a rat who didn't tell Marissah he wouldn't have a ride to the dance or a juvenile delinquent in training who was being punished for getting detention. Hmm.....

When she called him after the dance he told her that he bought a flower for her and that he'll give it to her Monday. Mom's waiting to make her final determination on his worthiness for her little girl.

Love is in the air.....

George invited Marissah to the Valentine's Day dance at school tonight. Of course, I'm bringing Marissah and George's parents are bringing him and Marissah told me they will not be dancing with each other (or anyone, apparently, because no one dances). but they're going together. ;) Ah, young love. I wonder if they'll even speak to each other or just look at each other and giggle from across the room. Sure wish I could be a fly on the wall, but Marissah informed me I can't go. Drat!

I'll update as soon as I get all the dirt!