Thursday, March 30, 2006

The Joy of Burping

Ah yes, it's so much fun to raise a son. Aaron's newest hobby is burping, loud and long and whenever he can. He is so proud of his accomplishments that he endeavors to share them with the world. It's just lovely, I tell you.

But seriously, is it a boy thing? Micah is as much a boy as Aaron and he's never gotten into the whole burping thing. I mean, sure, he can let loose with a big one from time to time and he certainly finds them amusing, but he's never been caught practicing his burps or trying to talk through them as his brother does. So what's the deal? I'm leaning towards genetics, myself. I'm not a belcher and neither is Mike, but I do come from a long line of talented burpers, right Mom? (wink, wink) Aaron apparently got the Bredeck Belching gene.

And speaking of my mother....she happens to be the very person who started Aaron off on his burping spree. As I recall they spent quite some time on the phone, burping at each other. Hmmm.... She must have recognized the gene and set out to exploit his gifts. (As an aside, it's interesting to note that whenever Aaron gets a chance to talk on the phone he asks the caller to burp for him. I'm thinking this could come in handy for those pesky telemarketers!)

I guess, in the grand scheme of things, it could be worse. I'm just hoping that by the time he's ready for college some school will offer a scholarship for accomplished belchers. At least that way he'll get some use of his talents. :)

Monday, March 27, 2006

Betrayed!

My baby boy has betrayed me. I thought he was on my side, but apparently I was mistaken. This morning I was having a hard time with Micah. He was having trouble staying on task and everything was taking ten times longer than it should have. Once again, I was trying to get his attention (this is our biggest problem in the mornings before he's had his medication) and Daddy asked Aaron if I was crabby today. Aaron replied: "Yes, she's a pain in the butt!" The nerve! I'll tell you what....if he wants to see what a pain in the butt I can be, I'll certainly show him!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Adventures in Parenting

Have you ever shopped with children? If not, I'm here to tell you that it's great fun. Truly. Especially if you enjoy ripping your hair out by the roots and dragging 40-pound children by the arm. Everyone should try it once or twice. Really! Would I lie to you?

Just so you know what you're missing (and because I want to share my pain) I'll describe the little shopping trip Aaron and I took to Wal-Mart today. It was great fun. (And if you believe that, I've got a bridge to sell you, too!)

I needed milk, in a bad way. Aaron adores milk and drinks nothing else. He despises orange juice and is not a big water fan and that's all I had on hand this morning because the milk was gone. So, we headed to Wal-Mart. It's been at least two weeks since I've taken Aaron to any store with me. He's not necessarily bad in the store, but he is very curious and wants to see everything. And I do mean everything.

As I pulled into the parking lot I cringed. It was nearly full. This shouldn't surprise me. Our Wal-Mart is full even at midnight. I know this because I've gone at that time, more than once, trying to avoid the crowds. No dice. I think there are Wal-Mart junkies in the area who have nothing better to do than hang out there all night long. It's kind of creepy, when you really think about it. But I digress. We were fortunate enough to land a parking spot right next to the cart return. Score one for me! I hate having to cross all those lanes of cars looking for a parking spot because they are not considerate at all. They don't even seem to see pedestrians, in fact, they just blow right past and with a toddler that's a dangerous situation. If I can't park right by a cart return I leave my cart where I empty it. Within reason, of course. So, I was feeling pretty righteous today as I parked the van and got Aaron out of his car seat.

Whether we go to Wal-Mart for two items or two hundred items, we always have to have a cart. Aaron loves the blue ones with built-in seat belts and seatbelts. He thinks they're very cool. Well, today he didn't want one. He told me he thought they would be wet. The last time we were at Wal-Mart he learned the wet cart lesson and it wasn't very pleasant for him. Ah, even more reason to feel smug. My parenting was really working. I had managed to teach my son the wisdom of taking a cart from inside the store instead of one that had been sitting out in the rain and it had only taken one lesson! I was feeling like a parenting goddess. Until we got to the door, that is.

I stepped through the doors and noticed I had lost my son. What the heck? I turned around and saw him walking away from me. Huh?! "Aaron," I called. "What are you doing?"

"We need a cart!" he told me.

"Honey, the carts are in the store, remember?" I asked as I walked back out of the store and toward him.

"No, they are over there," he said and pointed. Oh shit. He was pointing to the other end of the store. All the way over there. He seriously thought I was going to walk to the other end of the Super Wal-Mart, outside, when it was only 42 degrees out, to get a cart. No way in hell.

"Aaron, remember, we can get a cart inside. It won't even be wet." I told him. Never mind that it wasn't raining today, he probably hadn't figured out that was what had made the carts wet last time.

"No!" he said. "I want those carts!"

Now, mind you, we couldn't even see the other carts from that side of the store, but he was determined. It took me about three minutes and actually walking into the store without him before I got him to come in. By that time he had decided he didn't want a cart at all.

After checking his blood pressure in the pharmacy section (we do this every time we're at Wal-Mart) and checking out the fish in the pet department, I urged Aaron along. I wanted to get my milk and get out while the gettin' was good. If only my sweet darling saw things the same way.

On our way from pets to dairy we stopped numerous times. We stopped to check out the water guns ("It's too cold, Honey.") and the swimming pools ("ItÂ's too cold for those too, Honey."). We checked out the posters ("No, we're not buying a Britney Spears poster.") and the Pringles display ("I really don't think you'll like the Thai Chili chips, Aaron."). We somehow ended up with a package of 12 pudding cups (which I kept because, hey, they were no sugar added) and a DVD of Chicken Little (which we already have, so I put it back). Finally we got our milk. On our way to the registers we ended up with six bananas. I didn't even see him sneak those suckers in!

The self-checkout lane is really a Godsend, especially at my always-busy Wal-Mart, but it's its own special kind of hell with children. I constantly have to tell Aaron not to touch the bags or it starts beeping at me, accusing me of trying to slip a 40-pound bag of something into one of those tiny plastic bags. The cashier comes and lectures me about making sure my little darling doesn't touch the scales and I just want scream. We made it through the check-out today with no assistance from a cashier. Would you be surprised if I told you that it's the first time that's ever happened to us? I didn't think so.

At last, we are headed to the car. I managed to distract Aaron so he forgot about those blasted candy and toy machines and I got him to hold on to the cart (which we picked up somewhere between pets and dairy because I knew we'd need it). We looked carefully for cars, waited for two that were driving like it's the Indy 500 and made it to our van. I stowed everything in the van and put the cart in the cart return like the conscientious Wal-Mart shopper that I am (as long as I'm parked close to said cart return, that is). I buckled my son into his carseat and breathed a sigh of relief. We had made it. Another successful shopping trip at Wal-Mart. (Successful means I got what I needed and didn't spend more than $50 on things I didn't plan to buy). I climbed into the driver's seat and started the van and my son said: "I want a cookie." Apparently the wet cart lesson isn't the only lesson he's picked up from our shopping trips. These trips usually end with a quick stop at Starbucks, more for me than him, if the truth must be known.

"Not today, Aaron," I told him. "We got pudding and bananas and Starbursts, remember?" I headed for the exit.

"We didn't get cookies," he told me.

"I know, but that's OK. I'm sure we'll get them next time." Little does my son know, the only reason we stop atstarfishs is because I usually need a grande mocha vodka valium to go. Today I survived without it.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Happy days are here again.....

Life is good. We picked up my desk yesterday and it's absolutely gorgeous! The pictures on ebay didn't do it justice.

Tomorrow my kids go back to school, thank God. A week of them being home was more than enough for me. I don't know how we'll survive the summer together. Ugh. Don't have to worry about that quite yet, though. I just plan to enjoy the last two months of school.

And the Memphis Tigers have moved into the Sweet Sixteen! Go Tigers!

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Happy Birthday!


My baby boy is four today! It hardly seems possible for him to be this old.....

In the four years since Aaron was born: Mike has been deployed twice, to fight in Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom. We've moved from California to Tennessee. My dad died. We got rid of Mike's Babe Mobile and obtained Christine, The Evil Car from Hell. Marissah has started Middle School. Micah has been in mainstream classes only. I got a job. Mike and I vacationed in Hawaii. Mike was promoted to Chief Petty Officer.

And Aaron, my sweet boy, has gone from babyhood to toddlerhood to the amazing little boy he is today. Sometimes he tries my patience. Sometimes I want to lock him in his room for a few hours (or days). But I always love him. He's smart, funny, energetic, entertaining and cute (if I do say so myself).

So happy birthday, Aaron! We love you!

Thursday, March 16, 2006

The Battle of the Boys

My boys have been all over each other today. Too much togetherness, for certain, but Micah and Marissah don't go back to school until Monday. I'm not quite sure we'll all survive the weekend.

Today Micah is taking the brunt. In fact, he just informed me he's been injured eight times today by Aaron. For the record, these injuries are not life-threatening. Heck, they aren't even visible to the naked eye, but it's rather amusing. Yesterday Micah pushed Aaron (they were running through the house) and Aaron ended up with a small scratch on his nose. Mike and I both told Micah that he'd better watch it; Aaron is not that much smaller than Micah and he doesn't take much crap. Guess he's finding that out the hard way.

Aside from indoor wrestling, all day today-heck, all vacation long-they've been watching Wonder Pets. Someone please shoot me!!!!! It was a cute show the first three or four times we watched it. Now it's gone past annoying to "sorry the TV is broken, you must have wore it out, boys." Gonna be a loooonnnng weekend.

Waiting...and waiting some more

There's a desk I want, no need, on eBay right now. I'm waiting for the auction to end to see if I won it. It' s a gorgeous desk. I've been looking for one for over a month now (at least) and haven't seen anything I like nearly as much, online or in stores. Gee, only one hour and seventeen minutes to go. I truly don't think I can make it that long without going insane. My refresh button is nearly worn out and my brain is on overload. This is why I have never seriously bid for anything on eBay before. I'm just entirely too fragile for this kind of anxiety.

Happy Birthday!

It's my mom's birthday today! She's 39, again. Feel free to sing "Happy Birthday" to her by leaving a comment. She's the bestest mom ever!

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Go Tigers!

The Memphis Tigers men's basketball team won the Conference USA Championship yesterday! Go Tigers! I am not much of a basketball fan, but I've enjoyed watching the highlights when I log my news this season. Gotta love Chris Douglas-Roberts and Rodney Carney . I look forward to seeing how the NCAA tournament pans out and maybe I'll even watch a few games.

I'm actually sort of looking forward to the NFL draft this year because I want to see where my man DeAngelo Williams ends up. Just don't tell Mike or he'll be expecting me to watch every game with him next season. Yuck!

There's not much baseball to follow around here, unless you're a St. Louis Cardinals fan. Which I am not and NEVER will be. I despise the Cardinals more than I despise the Braves. And that's saying quite a bit. Maybe the Twins will have a team to root for this year. One can hope........

Saturday, March 11, 2006

Drip, drip, drip.....

Marissah came downstairs yesterday, very calmly, to tell me the toilet in the kids' bathroom was overflowing. Gee, nothing like getting excited. By the time Mike and I got there there was about an inch of water on the floor and the toilet was still running. Turns out someone tried to flush a paper plate. What the heck? Well, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out which of our lovely heathens, er, children would do that. Marissah and Micah know better, but Marissah's the only one who learned the hard way, right Meircee??

Anyway, we asked Aaron why he tried to flush a paper plate down the toilet. I mean, really, this is the kid who has to be reminded to flush after he uses the toilet as intended! He told us "Gracie did it!" Gracie is our dog. Good try, though, Aaron. Pretty funny how they learn to blame the one smaller than them, isn't it? As I went downstairs to get the mop and bucket I heard Aaron scolding Gracie: "Naughty, Gracie!"

And, yes, the ceiling was dripping in my kitchen. When we moved in here there was a big water stain on the kitchen ceiling, and now it's really big. "Hello, Maintenance? We have a small problem....."

Spring has sprung

Spring has come to my area of Tennessee. This week our beautiful flowering trees (dogwoods, Bradford pears, fruit trees, etc.) bloomed and the air is filled with the heady scent of spring. This is the only time I actually enjoy the weather here. We had an awesome thunderstorm on Thursday-hard rain and some wind, but no damage around here. We didn't even lose power, which is truly something to get excited about since we usually lose power if the wind blows the wrong direction.

I'm afraid spring won't last long though. We were above 80 degrees today and it was so humid. I had to turn on my central air. Yikes! And last night I squashed my first mosquito. I hate those damn things! Yes, summer is on its way!

We're all on vacation here, except Mike. The kids go back to school on the 20th and I start work again on the 21st. We're all enjoying a little break.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Aaron is my only child who doesn't love to color and draw. Marissah and Micah are both entertained for hours with colored pencils, crayons, markers and paper. I buy copy paper for them to draw on at an alarming rate. We've probably destroyed entire rain forests over the years. But Aaron, Aaron does not like to color or draw.

On Monday Aaron's Smart Start teacher came to the house for our monthly visit. She asked, again, if Aaron was coloring yet or even interested in using pens, crayons or markers. I told her he wasn't and she gave me a few more tips on how to get him interested.

Last night Marissah had all of her supplies out to work on her book report project. She didn't put them away before bed and Aaron discovered them this morning. Much to my delight, he grabbed a piece of construction paper and started drawing like he'd been doing it for ages. It was lovely 3-year-old scribbles, but we all have to start somewhere, right? He colored for about 20 minutes and then I noticed he wasn't interested anymore. I told him to put the caps back on the markers so they wouldn't dry out. He did this carefully, matching to cover colors to the marker colors and then he proceeded to engage in a marker battle. Ah, yes. There's the boy I know. Doesn't matter what type of toy it is, if Aaron's playing with it sooner or later it will end in a battle. I expect his "ashun figgers" (as he calls them) to fight, but start to wonder a bit when the cars fight, the Lincoln Logs fight. Now it's markers.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Micah's Quote of the Day

Micah told me today that he's getting really good at climbing the tree at the bus stop in the mornings. I told him to please not climb trees at the bus stop because if he fell and cracked his head open I might never know about it. "Mo-om," he replied. "Heads are like coconuts. Even when you drop them really hard they don't break!"

Well, I guess I know why he's never been afraid to climb or jump---from anything. I did set him straight, but he's still convinced that only falling on concrete could crack a head. Or a coconut.

Can't Live Without 'Em

Yes, I admit, in some ways I'm a snob. I have definite ideas and preferences and in a few areas of my life (okay, more than a few) I just won't compromise. I don't care where most of my clothing comes from. I shop thrift stores and Target and Wal-Mart and even JCPenney. If I had more money I'd shop at Macy's and Nordstrom and Talbots. I don't mind buying used books because I read them so fast I'd never be able to support my addiction if I bought all new hardcovers and paperbacks. But on a few things I just won't compromise.

My all-time favorite hair product is Frizz-Ease. I simply won't live without it. I'd probably give up one of my kids before I'd give this stuff up. For sure my dog. Frizz-Ease tames my naturally curly hair so I don't look like Medusa. And that is a very good thing.

I probably could live without Yankee Candle tarts, but I sure don't want to. My whole house smells lovely when I light one and since I've discovered an electric tart burner I don't even have to bother to keep tea lights in the house anymore. My favorite scents (currently) are Fresh Comfort, Country Linen, Lilac Blossoms and Granny Smith Apple. Yum!

I fell in love with Sock it to Me Cake years ago. No, I don't bake it myself. I buy it at Wal-Mart. It's awesome. When I buy it (which isn't all that often, really!) I hide it from the kids and pray they don't find it.

My friend Linda convinced me to try Scott Tissue and I'm a convert. It's soft and it lasts forever! Seriously, I used to need a new roll of toilet paper in my downstairs bathroom every other day but one roll of Scott lasts more than a week. It's truly miraculous!

I'm also particular about my pens. My dad got me hooked on Pilot G-2 gel pens and now I buy them in every color available, including a few not shown on their website (pink, aqua and a lovely burgundy). I guard them with my life and my kids know better than to even look at them.

Do you have any favorites? Things you just couldn't live without? Tell me so I can get hooked too! ;)

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

More fiction by Micah

The Frog Band
by Micah

Chapter 1-Squirrel

Once there was a frog practicing his drums. And his name was Froggie. He even met a squirrel.

Then they practiced their instruments and then the frog used the squirrel's banjo. And they both had something in common. They both ate things either bugs or acorns.

Chapter 2-War

Then there was a war between frog and turtle. Soon there were frog knights and frog peasants and frog slaves. Then they all fighted. And next squirrels were the frog's ally.

Soon the turtles had knights, rangers, archers, warriors and peasants.

Finally they (the turtles have really done this is the ages) surrendered. (Means the frogs won.) They all got freedom for Italy. (They built a second Statue of Liberty.) They liked and defeated the turtles.

The end.

Obviously he's got quite the imagination. If anyone tells you kids with Autism or Asperger's Syndrome aren't creative, just tell them about my Micah Boo. :) Even the notes in parentheses are his.