Kids, Don't Try This at Home....

A few weeks ago I waxed my legs at home. I used Sally Hansen Brazilian Wax and it worked great! It was a little messy, but nothing major and it worked so well that I still don't need to shave my legs, two weeks later.

Last week my friend Linda and I went shopping and I picked up some Surgi Wax (I won't even link you, read on). This stuff is supposed to be great because it requires no muslin strips. You just put the wax on, wait for it to get pliable (15-30 seconds) and then pull it off. Great stuff! IN THEORY ONLY!

Never, ever, ever will I use this stuff again. Never. OMG! I decided I'd wax my underarms because waxing my legs went so well. OMG! OMG! OMG! It never got pliable. I couldn't pull it off except in teeny tiny little balls. And not only that, but it DIDN'T REMOVE ANY OF MY HAIR. Nope, just removed little tiny balls of MY SKIN!

And getting rid of that wax? Forget it. I used HOT, HOT water. I used Vaseline (which the box says will remove it). I used rubbing alcohol and I even used DAWN (yes, the dishsoap). My armpit is still sticking to itself. This was the most painful experience I've had aside from giving birth without drugs. And I've had a root canal with only Novacaine.

Don't ever buy this crap. Just DON'T. Take my word for it. DON'T. The only thing Surgi Wax is good for is torture. So if you know of someone who needs torturing, shell out $3.84 at Wal-Mart and have a blast. Otherwise stay far, far away from Surgi Wax.

And to think......I was planning to do my bikini line. =O

Riding the Storm Out

Last night, after I put the kids to bed, I flipped the television to regular TV (not Nick) and saw that we were under a tornado warning. The radar looked pretty ominous-exactly like the radar looked before the tornado that hit Dyersburg, TN a few weeks ago. Except this time it was headed straight for us.

I got all the kids up, which was quite a chore. Micah was out like a light and I had to carry him down the stairs. We holed up in the powder room on the main floor since we don't have a basement. At this time it wasn't even raining.

Our powder room is small. In fact, it's not just small, it's downright microscopic. I put a blanket on the floor (it's tile and I had no idea how long we'd be in there) and by the time the kids and I were sitting we already had trouble getting the door closed.

And then Marissah remembered Gracie. Of course I didn't want to leave Gracie, the dumbest dog in the world, to her own devices, but damn! There was no room in there. Well, we made room. Gracie, of course, plopped right down on top of us. I'm so glad she was comfy. She was sitting on my feet which made me quite a bit less than comfy, but I didn't want to die either, so I stayed put.

Mike came to check on us a couple times (he showed his true redneck colors by standing out front and waiting for the storm to hit) and I used my cell phone to check the television station's weather website for mobile phones (that was pretty cool, but awfully small). Micah tried to sleep by wedging his head on the toilet. Marissah asked all kinds of dramatic questions (If our house gets sucked up by a tornado will we have to go to school tomorrow?) and Aaron amused himself, if not the rest of us, by scrambling (or trying to scramble) from one side of the bathroom to the other. Unless he was busy turning the lights on and off. And on and off. And on and off.

Marissah summed things up very well when she told the dog: "Gracie, I have two words for you: Tic Tac." Yep, the dog has really bad breath and in a 4' X 5" space you could really smell it. Finally I decided I would rather be sucked up into a tornado and deposited elsewhere (preferably a beach somewhere) than sit in that damn bathroom for another second. I told the kids to stay put and went to see what the weather was doing.

Ha! We got rain. That's it. Not even very much of it. Lots of lightning, but we never even lost power (not that we could tell with Aaron switching the lights on and off), which is really remarkable because we seem to lose power if the wind blows the wrong way. No hail, no branches down, nothing. Even other parts of our county didn't fare badly. No damage to speak of, thank God. Caruthersville, Missouri (100 miles northwest of here) can't say the same. They had three tornadoes touch down and they are still recovering from massive damage from the April 2 storm. Say a prayer for those people, they can use it.

So, in the end, we were perfectly safe. I could have left the kids in bed and watched the storm coverage in silence. I could have missed the sheer joy of being tromped on by Gracie and Aaron in that tiny bathroom. I definitely wouldn't have minded missing Gracie's breath. But we're safe and that's what matters. If we have another tornado warning tonight I'll do the same thing. Maybe. But I'll give Gracie that Tic Tac first.

Balloons and Heaven....or Hell

Aaron got a mylar balloon (filled with helium) last week when we went to the dollar store. That's his favorite treat there and I certainly don't mind because there's no sugar added and he doesn't know how to inhale it to make himself talk funny (yet). He's been playing with it for about a week now and it was starting to lose the helium. Apparenlty he thought it wouldn't float away anymore because he took it outside and let it go. He came in to ask me to get his balloon, but it was too far gone.

He didn't cry, but it looked like he might, so I figured I'd console him by telling him that his balloon had gone to Papa in heaven.

"Papa not up there!" he told me. "Papa's down." Now, my first thought was how the hell does he know that?, but then I realized that he doesn't understand my dad is dead. Anyway, he's decided now that his balloon is on the way to the moon and as long as it doesn't have a close encounter with the sun it'll be back tomorrow.

And for anyone who's staring at this screen, aghast that I could intimate my dad is in hell: Get over it. He'd laugh as hard as I did. I know exactly where he is. He's on the shelf above my couch. At least part of him is. You'll have to ask my sister about the rest of him. Or my brothers. Or my aunt. Or (and this is just for you Stacie) THE FISHES!

Monopoly

Monopoly is making a "Here and Now" edition with current landmarks, replacing the old Atlantic City streets. Go here to vote for your favorites. You can vote for one landmark in each city.

Just one request: don't vote for the stupid Mall of America! :)

Yes, they really can break anything....

My kids that is. I've often wondered if there is anything they can't break. I've seen them break dishes (no big feat), dressers (a bit bigger), beds (but it was an old one and they were jumping on it) and now, to prove that they really can break anything.....

Micah broke a 5 ft plus limb off our TREE today. This isn't an ill tree. It's healthy and vigorous, but it's not particularly big. According to him, he just pulled on it and it broke off. Yeah, right. I have a feeling it held his entire 55 or so pounds for a long, long time before it finally gave. Thank God he wasn't climbing the tree when this happened. We had a tropical storm last summer (Dennis) and Hurricane Katrina was just a few miles per hour shy of hurricane status when she blew through here and no damage to my little tree. That's not even mentioning the thunderstorms with straight-line winds. Leave it to Micah......

My baby boy is four today! It hardly seems possible for him to be this old.....

In the four years since Aaron was born: Mike has been deployed twice, to fight in Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom. We've moved from California to Tennessee. My dad died. We got rid of Mike's Babe Mobile and obtained Christine, The Evil Car from Hell. Marissah has started Middle School. Micah has been in mainstream classes only. I got a job. Mike and I vacationed in Hawaii. Mike was promoted to Chief Petty Officer.

And Aaron, my sweet boy, has gone from babyhood to toddlerhood to the amazing little boy he is today. Sometimes he tries my patience. Sometimes I want to lock him in his room for a few hours (or days). But I always love him. He's smart, funny, energetic, entertaining and cute (if I do say so myself). So happy birthday, Aaron! We love you!

Book Review: The Awakening by Kate Chopin

I'm trying to read some of the "classics" that I've never read. I picked up The Awakening by Kate Chopin at the library. It's the story of a woman who becomes dissatisfied with her life and marriage. Sounds pretty mundane until you look at the publication date. This book was first published in 1899 and caused quite the uproar. It's been banned and criticized by many. I thought it was very good. It captured Edna Pontellier's feelings of discontent well and I empathized with her character. The ending was heartbreaking, but was perfect for the story.

Old Friends

I heard from an old friend this week. Michelle and I lost touch a few years ago and, although I've thought of her often, life just seemed so busy. Blah, blah, blah. What a poor excuse! I'm glad I was able to find her number and I'm glad she called me back!

We spent quite a long time on the phone, catching up on our current lives (she's married and had two kids since we last spoke) and reminisced about the good old days (or the bad old days, depending). It was great fun and I hope we can keep in touch.

Aaron Rides His Bike!

Yesterday Daddy got the training wheels on Micah's old bike and Aaron took his first spin! I can't believe how big he's getting! Micah got this bike for his fifth or sixth birthday and it was too big for him. It fits Aaron just right!

He had a wonderful time, even though his pedaling needs a little work. ;) That'll come with time......

Congratulations are in order.....

for Meircee's son (my honorary nephew) Westley! Westley's grades have improved very much. This pleases his mom which, in turn, makes Westley's life much more pleasant. ;) You're doing great, Westley! Keep up the good work!

Life's Little Annoyances

I've been thinking about things that annoy me today. We all have the standards: bad drivers, people in the Express Lane with 50 items, our children, etc. But how about some of the more unusual annoyances? My sister recently told me that when she was staying with a friend she changed the toilet paper so it was hanging on the roll correctly. (Note: if you have to ask "which way is correct?" you are probably doing it wrong anyway!) It had never occurred to me to change someone else's toilet paper around, but it's a good idea! I mean, really, these poor people will probably be grateful for being taught the right way to do it!!! Do you see the implications here? We could change the world, one roll of toilet paper at a time! Proponents of proper toilet paper-hanging unite!

The Divine Miss Em

Emily, my honorary niece and Meircee's daughter, was just elected Peer Helper at her elementary school. This is not surprising, of course. The Divine Miss Em is one of the coolest kids I know. A little birdie told me she has aspirations for higher office (as in School Historian next year and School President in fifth grade). I wish her luck in her future campaigns. Someday she'll be running for President of the United States and this blogger hopes she wins by a landslide. There's no one better to run this country than a cool girl who knows that boys stink. :)