Recently Overheard

Aaron (after Mom told him to get in bed or she'd beat him silly): Ah, beat me silly!

Micah (on why he doesn't like to be tickled): It makes me feel furry inside!

Micah (on getting the dog back into our yard when she ran out the open gate): Is this Gracie? Because it's the same color as Gracie, but I don't know if it's really our dog because I didn't see her run out our gate or anything.

**Micah and I take the same medication at bedtime (both for sleep). Last time the pharmacy didn't refill mine, but refilled his twice in the same bottle.**

Micah (to Mom, when she told him she was going to "borrow" some of his white pills): Why do you need help?

Micah (on why he didn't get an E for conduct in school): It's because of Simburger's, Mom! (He meant Asperger's Syndrome.)

Aaron (at bedtime): Good night, Sister.

Aaron (singing his favorite song): Row, row your boat, gently down the string.....

Aaron (when asked to pick up his toys): I'm sick of doing favors!

**The kids were doing "Cheers" at dinner one night. Excessively. Micah even had a toast with his cup and fork.**

Micah (when Daddy asked if he should do "Cheers" with his hand on Micah's butt, Micah promptly tried it out with his own hand): Hey! That's a spanking!

Micah (on why he's never getting married): I don't want to have kids because I don't want them asking me questions all the time.

Aaron (explaining why he should be able to go to school with Micah now): But I'm five now. I am. See? (holds up five fingers.)

Aaron (after I showed the sentry at the gate on base my ID card): Hey! You forgot to tell him I'm Aaron!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Yes, it's my birthday today. For the next 3 weeks my husband and I are the same age, or so he says. I insist that he's still 49 weeks older than I am, but does he listen???

It's funny, all year long I've been thinking I was already 32. Now it seems like I should be turning 33, but the calendar says otherwise. I guess I kind of talked myself into an extra year. Or something.

Aaron wished me a happy birthday this morning, but only after losing the argument with me that today is actually his birthday. Sheesh, I gave up my body for nine months to carry him, I regularly make sacrifices for his happiness and now the little monster wants my birthday, too. Kids today!

Happy Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day! The day to tell your mom how much she means to you. I hope you remembered to get her a card--or at least a cactus (sorry, inside joke).

I was very disappointed when I went through Micah's backpack on Friday and didn't find a Mother's Day card. I mean, he's only in 3rd grade. I wouldn't think that's too old to make Mother's Day cards, especially when Marissah's 6th grade social studies class made cards for their moms. So, I asked Micah if he made me a card. "Yes," he said.

"Where is it?" I asked, innocently.

"At school," he replied.

"Why didn't you bring it home?"

"Because Mrs. Lott didn't tell me to," he said.

I thought about this for a minute. Yep, that's my Micah Boo. "Do you know when Mother's Day is, Micah?' I asked him.

"No," he said. He truly wasn't as uninterested as this sounds, you just have to know Micah. This is a typical conversation with him.

"Mother's Day is tomorrow, Micah." I said.

"Oh," he said.

"I guess I'll get my card on Monday, huh?" I asked.

"I hope so," was all he said. I guess if Mrs. Lott doesn't specifically tell him to bring the dang card home for his poor, deprived Mommy he'll just leave it at school until the last day. :) What a kid!

So, I hope you all have the Mother's Day of your dreams. No cleaning, no cooking, cash prizes or jewelry. At least a homemade card or two.

Another Reason I Hate the South

The creatures here are hideous. I killed a big brown recluse spider today in my bathroom. It was just lollygagging around in the sink, waiting to bite the hell out of someone, probably me. It was bigger than a quarter (including his legs) and since I'm terrified of them I first tried to drown it. (Let me just tell you that a bite from a brown recluse can lead to gangrene. This is not something I'm willing to mess with.)

I turned the water on in the sink (hot, of course, all the better to burn it with) and filled it up. When that little bastard didn't drown (do spiders breathe?) I scooped him up in a cup and brought him outside where I stomped the heck out of him. In Mike's shoes, not mine. Like I'd risk my penny loafers or something. Sheesh!

In the two years we've lived here we've found five of these bastards, all in the downstairs bathroom. Just what I need is that to be floating around in my head next time we have a tornado warning and I have to sit in there with my kids. Ugh.

A Meme

Here's a meme for all of you. Feel free to post you answers as comments.....

• I am: still waking up
• I want: a Peppermint Mocha.
• I wish: my kids were in school today.
• I hate: living in the backwoods.
• I love: my family.
• I miss: San Diego.
• I fear: something will happen to my kids.
• I hear: the television, as usual.
• I wonder: if it will ever dry out enough so I can plant my flowers.
• I regret: very little.
• I am not: as crabby as I was yesterday.
• I dance: in the kitchen while I make dinner.
• I sing: in the car.
• I cry: not as easily as I used to.
• I am not always: a mean Mommy.
• I make with my hands: dinner, every night.
• I write: something every day
• I confuse: my kids' names. I call Marissah Aaron. I call Aaron Micah. I call Micah Marissah.
• I need: a new laptop.
• I should: get dressed and get busy with work.
• I start: every day with coffee.
• I finish: every day with a book.
• I tag: All of you!

The Mantra of a Pre-teen Girl

You all know what I'm talking about. You said it yourself, back in the day. "I have nothing to wear!" This is almost always said through tears, combined with a hair toss and a very exaggerated sigh at the end. Yep, that's what I heard this afternoon. Today was the final dance of the school year and, wouldn't you know, Marissah had nothing to wear. What a tragedy! Lucky for her, Mommy was more than willing to help. Heh heh heh.

For starters, I told her she was not wearing any of my shoes. Her feet are almost as big as mine, but not quite and, dammit, she's going to wear shoes that fit. Plus, I have no desire to kiss my favorites goodbye quite yet. Also, she's not real good at matching. Did I tell you about her awards ceremony at school? She looked great in a black skirt embroidered with silver (came to her knees) but I almost died when I saw that she had managed to get out of the house wearing my brown leather boots. These are boots made for jeans, you know the type: chunky heel, cut pretty wide at the top. Needless to say, I'm not taking any chances where her and shoes are concerned.

She was quite disappointed when I told her she wasn't wearing any spaghetti straps, either. I'm dead serious when I tell you that I saw many middle school girls in teeny tiny little slip dresses after her Christmas dance. It was disgusting. No way is my 11-year-old going out looking like that. We finally settled on pink embroidered capris, a white top and Mom's white with pink polka dots scarf/belt. We also put a pretty pink silk scarf (Mom's again) in her ponytail. She looked great, even with her pink Converse tennies. :)

When I dropped her off at the dance I was surprised to see her boyfriend, Geoffrey, waiting outside the school for her. I didn't think sixth grade boys knew about those kind of niceties. I even saw him open the door for her!! I didn't get to meet him then, but he walked her to the car after the dance and he shook my hand and told me it was nice to meet me. This one is definitely an improvement over the last boyfriend, that's for certain! Of course, then he hugged her goodbye and I almost fainted dead away. I know it could have been worse (and, believe me, we had the kissing talk before she left for the dance), but watching them hug was pretty damn traumatic. She's 11 for Pete's sake!!!

So she had a good time. They didn't dance, just held hands and talked. I didn't even let my eyes pop out of my head when she mentioned the hand-holding. I suspect they may have shared a kiss or (God help me) two, but I'm not going to ask her again. Yikes.

Squeaky Clean!

It's raining today and Aaron is bored. His toys are boring, the TV won't hold his interest and I can't even get him interested in a book (usually one of his favorite things). No, it seems today is Bath Day.

It's 10:30 and he's in the tub again. This is his second bath of the day. At this rate, not only will he be squeaky clean, he'll also be shriveled up like a prune! He's got his cars and Rescue Heroes in the tub with him. Why can he play with them in the water but not out of it? I'll probably never know......

He's Ready!

Aaron is officially ready for summer. Today at Wal-Mart we bought him two flyswatters and six squirt guns. As I type this, he hiding outside, preparing to squirt Marissah when she gets home from school! :)

Happy Birthday!

It's my sister's birthday today! Everyone wish Stacie a happy 29th! One more year and she's old like me! :)

Love you, Sis!