Merry Christmas to All!

Yes, that's the winning holiday photo. Notice the lovely date stamp. Oh well.

Hope everyone has a very merry Christmas and that Santa brings you every single item on your lists!

Love,
the Bengtsons

This and That

Well, Micah placed third in his spelling bee! I was so proud of him! They had a lot of trouble with the microphone and he didn't hear his word correctly. He spelled "method" as "nethod." LOL He wasn't disappointed, though-the two kids that placed ahead of him were both fifth graders. He did so well!

The kids are done with school now until January 3. Not sure how we're all going to survive that. Nana is coming on Saturday and I mailed all my packages and cards today (I'm late!). Now I just have to wrap. And wrap and wrap some more. Ugh. I loathe wrapping presents. One reason is because I suck at it. *sigh*

This is SO wrong!

Ya'll know how I feel about Mustangs. Imagine the shock and disbelief I felt when reading this. And no, I will not be getting one. Mustang Wagons? I'm going to cry.......

Spelling Bee

This morning I learned that Micah is going to be in the school Spelling Bee tomorrow. Who knows how long he's known about this. I only found out because I asked him why he had a 5th grade spelling book in his backpack.

Turns out he won the classroom Spelling Bee ("I was the person who lasted the longest Mom. Everyone else got out before me."). The winner of each class moves on to the school Spelling Bee. He's not sure what time it starts tomorrow, but he thinks it's 1:10. Or maybe 1:20. Or 1:00 (guess who is calling the school today to make sure?). My little speller......

Holiday Photos

When I was pregnant with Aaron and having anxiety attacks over how I was going to parent three kids, my friend Dawn gave me a tip. She told me that the hardest part of having three kids was taking pictures. Naturally, I scoffed at her. That's what clueless people do, you know. And then I had three kids and tried to take pictures of all three of them and it was hell.

I skipped family Christmas photos last year. I just could not bring myself to go through the torture. So I knew this year I was going to have to bite the bullet and take them, lest friends and family think I'm hiding my children from them or something. On Saturday I made all the kids dress in red and I broke out the adorable little Santa hats I bought for the dogs. Kids and dogs gathered around the tree and I took up the camera. And that's where my whole plan fell apart.

Doc, the puppy, was not going to wear the hat. No freaking way. I swear, if he could talk he would have said something along the lines of "Are you out of you ever-lovin' mind, woman?" Okay, no hats on the dogs. Gracie was willing to wear hers (or too stupid to realize it was on her head), but it would look ridiculous with just one dog wearing a hat.

Now that we've removed the hats, Gracie has decided she's not up to having her picture taken. Maybe it was a bad hair day. I don't know, but whenever we tried to get her to sit for a picture she immediately walked away. Okay, scratch the dogs. Kids only in the picture. This will work.

I got everyone posed just so and snapped a quick picture. Checked it out in the viewing screen and realized I had left the digital date on it. ARGH!!!!! I reset the camera so the date would not show up on what I was still convinced were going to be my perfect family photo Christmas cards and we were ready to go again.

Except we weren't.

After 10 minutes of cajoling, I couldn't get them to sit still. I thought maybe if they sat on the couch they'd do better. I was wrong. This is the picture I managed to snap just after I told them they were going to be grounded from everything if they didn't sit nice and smile.





Marissah loves her cheesy smiles and Micah and Aaron can't sit next to each other without messing around. The proof is right here.


And now, of course, Doc changes his mind and decides he should be in the picture. On the couch. Did I mention it's not even six months old yet and I really don't like animals on the furniture. Well, I decided to bend my rule for the sake of the Ultimate Christmas Photo. (Who the hell am I kidding?!)



One more picture and I'm ready to hang it up. Get the damn dog on your lap, look and me and smile pretty. I think I may have threatened to pull ears, but I may have just wished that.




What the hell. Enough. I'm sending out the picture with the date stamp on it. Do you know what pisses me off the most? I spent 45 minutes taking these pictures and I end up using the very first one I took.

Dawn, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I stand humbled before you. I can't do this again. Next year it's JC Penney portrait studio or nothing.

Christmas Mushrooms?

I bought some more ornaments for our Christmas tree today at Wal-Mart. It was looking a little sad with our special ornaments and a mere five red balls. I bought a big package of shatter-proof ornaments, because, well, I live in Heathenville. Anyhoo, Aaron and I were putting some on the tree and what do I see??? Why, Christmas mushrooms!

Who the heck puts mushrooms on their Christmas tree?! Is this something I don't know about? I know some people put a pickle ornament on their trees, but I've never heard of mushrooms. There were four of these in the package I bought. The rest of the ornaments were normal-stars, pinecones, twirly things, bells, etc. And four mushrooms. Maybe the ornament makers in China were just bored and thought "Hey, I know! Let's give those crazy Americans something to think about. Let's make them some mushroom ornaments!"

I have to say, those mushrooms are not going on my tree. I feel about it the same way as I feel about those ugly Croc shoes. Just because everyone's wearing them doesn't mean they're cute. I threw the mushrooms away.

Ah, I should have done a Google search earlier. Turns out I was on the right track: Mushroom Tradition. I'm still not putting them on my tree.

Make it stop!

It's cold here. Yes, I'm being whiny. But really, last year we didn't have our first frost until the middle of December. Here it is, December 4, and it's been cold for a week already.

I was so cold today that I put on a shawl. It's a very, very cute shawl. It's bubble gum pink and it's cable knit. Not really heavy or anything but it keeps me warm. And it looks good with my pink long-sleeved shirt. Well, my husband doesn't like it. In fact, he commented to Marissah that I'll make a good little old lady because I'm already practicing. ARGH!!!!!!!! Obviously, this is coming from the man who still keeps his Miami Vice suit because "it's gonna come back in style." (As a very funny aside, I just did a Google search for "1980s vintage mens suits" to link to one that looks like it. Can't find a single picture of anything that looks remotely close. Guess they're not coming back anytime soon, huh?)

Anywho....it's cold and I'm sick of it already. I want 75 degrees and sunshine, not 35 and gray. Yuck.

Happy Birthday!

Today is my best friend's birthday! Everyone join me in saying "Happy Birthday Meircee!" She deserves a very special day because she's a wonderful friend. :)

It's time for a HOLIDAY meme!

Because you know I can't resist a meme....

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate?
Hot chocolate....with peppermint, please!

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just set them under the tree?
He almost always wraps unless it's an awkward package.

3. Colored or white lights on the tree?
Just bought a new tree, pre-lit, and the lights are white. The kids were ticked. They prefer colored. I do have colored lights on the wooden tree my dad made me.

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
I have in the past, but not for several years.

5. When do you put up your decorations?
Usually Thanksgiving weekend sometime. And I usually take them all down the day after Christmas. I'm sick of them by then.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish?
Green bean casserole and stuffing.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child?
Probably spending Christmas Day at my grandparents' house with all my cousins.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
I was in third grade and Michelle Smith told me.

9. Do you open gifts on Christmas Eve?
The only presents we open on Christmas morning are from Santa. Everything else on Christmas Eve.

10. How do you decorate your tree?
Very carefully. I thought this year I could actually decorate the bottom third of my tree (finally), but the puppy has discovered if the jumps he can reach those ornaments. So, for the freaking 12th Christmas in a row, I have a tree decorated only on the top 2/3. Lovely. Maybe next year.

11. Snow?
As long as it's gone by December 26th, I'm just fine with it.

12. Can you ice skate?
I used to be able to, but it's been a very, very long time. Don't know if I could even stand on skates anymore.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?
How can I pick just one favorite. I do remember, very vividly, getting my Cabbage Patch Kid in 1984 or whatever. I was very surprised and delighted.

14. What's the important thing about the holidays for you?
Making it special for my kids.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?
I'd give my right arm for one of my Grandma Ruby's Nut Goodies. They were soooo good!!!!!

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
I have two. I love taking my kids out to see all the pretty Christmas lights and I love making homemade pizza on Christmas Eve. We ate pizza on Christmas Eve when I was a kid and Mike thinks it's just blasphemous, but I like it and refuse to give it up.

17. What tops your tree?
A paper Santa that Micah colored in school one year. I've never seen an angel tree-topper that didn't freak me out.

18. Which do you prefer-giving or receiving.
Giving.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song?
Silent Night.

20. Candy canes? In hot chocolate or a mocha, but I don't eat them just to eat them.

21. Do you think Christmas is too commercialized?
Yes. That's a no-brainer.

Gee, what a surprise......

If you scroll down on this page, under my Library Thing books you'll see that I belong in San Diego. At least according to the "Inner Californian" quiz. Obviously, those of you who know me are not surprised. Where else should I be??? Certainly not in Tennessee!! Anyway, the picture, I believe, is one of my favorite spots in the entire world-La Jolla. We used to go walking there pretty regularly and we'd always stop to see the seals at The Children's Pool. Gosh, I miss California like crazy. I'd be happy with just one sunny day on the beach right now.....

Happy Days for Carnivores!

I swore I wasn't going out to do any shopping this morning. Who the hell wants to fight those crowds for a few measly things? Not me. Besides, I managed to get everything I wanted online last night at the early-bird prices.

But I did end up going out. When I woke up this morning I had to go out for cigarettes. I was out. To add insult to injury, I knew I was going to have to venture off-base because the Exchange never, ever has my brand. So, I figured since I was going out anyway I'd swing past Lowe's and see if they had any of the $88 gas grills left. I was pretty sure they wouldn't. After all, it was 8:00-the diehards had to have snatched them all up by 5:30, right? THEY HAD TWO LEFT! Yippie for me!!!

My grill has been dead for well over a year, but we kept thinking it could maybe be fixed. No more. This came fully assembled and they included a free cover. What a deal.

So, the grill is currently warming up and my steaks are marinating. We're having them with green salad and garlic-roasted potato wedges. Bliss, I tell you. I think tomorrow night we'll either have grilled chicken breasts or tri-tip......

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's Turkey Day again. Aaron informed me this morning that "it's a holiday!" When I wished him a Happy Thanksgiving he told me: "Now you have to make pies!" That's my boy, worried about the important stuff! ;)

My pumpkin pies are actually already baked (did that last night), so today is reserved for the turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing (my personal favorite), the green bean casserole and cranberries.

Interesting thing about cranberries: apparently very few people here in the South use fresh cranberries. All the stores have pallets full of canned cranberry sauce and that nasty jellied stuff, but one tiny little row of fresh cranberries in the produce department. Last year when I bought my fresh cranberries, the cashier asked, totally serious, "What do you do with these?" Most Southerners insist on from-scratch everything, but apparently not cranberries. Weird.

So, enjoy your day. Remember, all calories consumed on a holiday cancel themselves out. Somehow.

What the HECK?!

I was just upstairs getting ready to go to Mike's office for a potluck. He told me about this potluck last night and, of course, he had to bring a dish. He can't ever tell me a few days ahead of time, you know. But that's another post for another day.

Today's post is "What the heck is that all over my mirror?" I was putting on my makeup and realized I couldn't see my face. The mirror is all smudgy and weird looking. It was fine this morning at 5:30, but now it's not.

So, after looking closely for a few seconds and being a little puzzled, I figured it out. It's lip prints. Lip-glossed lip prints, to be precise. Three guesses as to who left them. Anyone?

If you guessed Marissah, you win the prize. Admittedly this could be Aaron's doing, but he's been glued in front of the TV watching Cars all day. Yes, I have taught her to blot her lipstick with tissue. Apparently that, like all my other lessons, went in one ear and out the other.......

Betrayed by the Radio

Ever since we've lived in Memphis I've listened to 94.1 The Buzz. Great music-it's the only radio station I've ever heard Johnny Cash, Britney Spears and Cake all in the same hour. The morning show was nothing special, but their afternoon drive show was da bomb.

When we got home from Minnesota last week one of the first things I did was turn on the kitchen radio. I listen to it when I'm making dinner, doing dishes and all that "fun stuff." I was horrified to hear that The Buzz had become The Snap while I was gone. I knew right away it was all over.

I decided I'd give it a shot. After all, there are NO other decent radio stations in Memphis. They're all hip hop or country and I'm just not into that. So, I kept playing it and I was still disappointed. The final straw came last Thursday night. While I was making dinner they played.......The Hustle. That's it. Enough. I can't listen to that shit. No way.

I've now settled on NPR, even though I'd prefer something I can dance to while cooking. Guess I'm just not going to find that around here......

Heathenville Happenings

We returned home on Monday from a week in Minnesota. Grandma Sandi, Mike's grandma, died last Sunday. It wasn't a good reason to be going home, but it was a nice visit. We got to see the whole fam-damly (Mike's side at least) and the weather wasn't too bad. No snow and this is November we're talking about here so 30 degrees didn't seem too cold.

Doc came with us and Gracie boarded at the vet. She doesn't seem to hold it against us. I think she was secretly pleased to get a break from the puppy. Aaron thinks she enjoyed drinking root beer and eating potato chips with the other dogs. ;)

How about another meme?

Since you all know I've never met a meme I didn't like, here's one I stole from my friend Ume's Myspace page.

1. What is your occupation? Domestic goddess

2.. What do you like to do the least? Clean house. Ugh.

3.. What are you listening to right now? My kids bickering.

4.. What was the last thing you ate? Macaroni and cheese with little smokies.

5.. would you have plastic surgery? Yes-bigger boobs, in a heartbeat.

6.. Favorite color? Red or yellow

7.. How is the weather right now? Cold and crisp

8.. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom

9.. Do you like the person who sent this to you? No one sent me this, I stole it from my friend Ume’s Myspace-and I do like her.

10.. How old are you today? 32

11.. Favorite drink? Coffee!

12.. What is your favorite swear word.? That pesky f-word.

13.. favorite restaurant? Chile Peppers in San Diego.

14.. Ideal job? A paid writer

15.. Pets? Gracie the old dog and Doc the puppy.

16.. Favorite month? May

17.. Favorite food? Can’t name just one, so I’ll say authentic Mexican and sushi.

18.. What was the last movie you watched? The Benchwarmers

19.. Favorite day of the year? Christmas

20.. What do you do to vent anger? Scream

21.. What was your favorite toy as a child? My Cabbage Patch Kid.

22.. Fall or Spring? Spring

23.. Hugs or kisses? Hugs

24.. Favorite ice cream? Ben and Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup

25.. When was the last time you cried? A few weeks ago when I spoke to my friend about her grandson who died.

26.. What is on the floor of your closet? Too much crap and, every morning, a fat, lazy dog named Gracie.

27.. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Missy.

28.. What are you afraid of? Way too many things to list.

29.. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? With blue cheese.

30. Favorite car? Ford Mustang-1965, please. And it MUST be red because a Mustang just isn’t a Mustang unless it’s RED!

31.. Favorite dog breed? Feeling pretty partial to Chocolate Labs lately, but I do love beagles.

32.. How many years at your current job? 12 years, 2 months, 20 days, but who’s counting…….

33.. Favorite thing to do? Read.

34.. How many cities have you lived in? Hmm…… I actually had to make a list and count. It’s 10, but I’ve lived in 3 different houses in San Diego.

35. How are you dressed? Jeans and a long sleeved shirt with socks AND slippers. It’s COLD here tonight

36. How many countries have you traveled to? 1. When I was about 10 we walked across the border into Canada after my dad’s truck broke down. And I lived in San Diego for a total of 8 years and never did get over the border into Mexico.

37. When is your birthday? May 17

38. If you could be a celebrity, who'd you be and why? None. That’s not the kind of life I would want.

Confession Update

My leggings are history. Yes, it's a sad day indeed. Marissah wore them on Halloween under her Gothic Chick costume and then wore them again yesterday after school. Somehow-and she has no idea how-they developed a hole in the knee. Obviously I can't wear them now. I wonder if this was a sign from God??????

Top Five Reasons I Hate Football....

It's no secret I'm not a football fan, but many of you may not know why I hate it. I thought I'd share my feelings with you, since I know you all really care. ;)

1. The stupid games take forever. I mean, really!! You look in the TV Guide and it says the game will be on from 1 pm until 4 pm. Yeah, right. I can guarantee it's going to last until 5:30 because it's slow. I'll come into the room and see five minutes left on the clock in the fourth quarter. 30 minutes later I come back and there's still 1:45 left on the clock. For God's sake-pick up the freaking ball and run already!

2. It's pansy-ass. Sure, it's a bunch of guys running around hitting each other, but you rarely see any real damage. Where's the blood? Give me a good hockey fight-er, I mean game-any day.

3. The players are morons. Have you ever listened to those post-game interviews? I bet if you took any team and added up the IQs of all the players you still wouldn't get 200.

4. The cheerleaders. Okay, do I have to elaborate? No one looks that good without some major plastic surgery. (Yes, this is an envy thing).

5. The announcers drive me batty. Now, this is true with baseball, too. I prefer to watch a game with the sound off so I don't have to listen to stupid statistics. I mean, do I look like I care that this is the first time a guy named Steve ran more than 25 yards before getting tackled by a guy named Doug? No, I do not care. And no one else should either. Who the hell keeps track of this shit????? If it's a big deal I want to hear it. You know, the longest field goal by any player ever or something else along those lines. But I really don't care about how many Steves have been tackled by how many Dougs.

So, there you have my top five reasons for hating football. I could probably give you 10 more, but I'd have to actually watch a game to remind me and I'm not a masochist. Thank God Mike doesn't care much about college ball......

Our new addition

I finally caved in to the family's demands for a puppy. On Thursday, Doc joined our family. He's seven weeks old and just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. The kids love him to pieces and Gracie is tolerating him very well. She's not as motherly as I thought she would be, but she lets him play with her tail and tells him when it's time to back off. :)

Everyone tells me having a puppy is worse than having a baby in the house, but I don't find that to be true. For one thing, there is no breastfeeding involved. (phew) For another, my kids think he's great fun so they are doing most of the work. On my agenda is teaching Doc to fetch my newspaper every morning and take out the trash. Well, I know he won't take out the trash, but I like to aim high. ;)

A Confession

It's been a long time since I've blogged. I'll start this off right by making a confession.

A few weeks ago I bought a pair of leggings.

I hope you heard me whispering because I'm not going to repeat it. In my own defense, though, I'll tell you that Glamour promises I won't be a fashion don't as long as I keep my ass covered with a tunic-style shirt. Good plan. Now if I could just find one I would be caught dead wearing. They're all striped. Now, I have nothing against stripes. In fact, I like the illusion stripes create with my bustline. But these tops are all weird in some way, shape or form. They either have 3/4-length sleeves (which I loathe) or they have strange gathers or darts. Or, horror of horrors, they balloon out like I'm wearing a maternity shirt (*that* will never happen again!). So, I'm currently stuck with a great little pair of black leggings and nothing to wear them with.


Before you ask (again) what possessed me to buy them, I'll tell you they are so comfortable. C'mon, you know it's true, I'll bet even you wore leggings back in the day. Yes, seeing those leggings in the store was utterly nostalgic. I was immediately whisked back to 1989. I was 15. I weighed 90 pounds. Life was good. Maybe I was hoping that buying the leggings would make everything the same as the last time I wore them. It didn't. Hence, the necessity of covering my ass with a tunic.

So, hopefully I'll be able to find that elusive shirt. In just the right color with just the right cut. If I do, I'll happily wear my leggings. You have my solemn vow, though, that I will never, ever wear them with leg warmers. My life is not Flashdance.