The Adventures of KinderBoy!

Aaron's loving school. We can tell because it's all he talks about. He's got a new best friend named Frank and he's already informed me I must get Frank's phone number on Meet the Teacher night (which is tomorrow). He's been doing lots of coloring (today he colored a lovely chicken) and has learned to play a great new game called "Follow the Directions." Unfortunately, it's still so hot here he's only been able to go outside for recess one day. :( On that day, however, they played Tag and Aaron was most impressed. He likes that game better than that directions one. What a surprise, huh?

Knock on wood, I haven't yet received a call from the teacher or principal regarding his behavior. He must be saving it all up. ;)

Happy Birthday!

Today is Marissah's thirteenth birthday. How on earth can I have a teenager?! It seems like just months ago my Mini Rissa was crawling around on the floor, weeks ago that she was screaming "Beat!" whenever Big Bird came on TV and just days ago that she was starting school. Now she's thirteen....

She's growing up and getting lovelier every day. Happy Birthday, honey! We love you!

Back to School

Tonight at dinner Micah gave Aaron some solid, yet unsolicited, advice about school. "Aaron, just watch out for the people who laugh when they get in trouble."

After I laughed myself silly, I realized that he's right. Those are the kind of people you should watch out for, aren't they? What an astute kid! ; )

Tomorrow at 7:40 I'll be driving my boys to school. Their hair has been cut, they have new clothes, their new backpacks are bulging with school supplies. They're ready and so am I. OK, so I might cry a *little* when I leave Aaron in his classroom, but aren't I entitled to that? Wish us all luck!

P. S. After I drop them off I'm heading to Starbucks. *grin*

HOT!

First for a weather report: our current temperature is 102 degrees with a heat index of 104. That's actually not too bad. Yesterday our heat index was 112! The humidity is lower today and that helps quite a bit. Last night at 10 pm it was still 93 degrees outside. Talk about insane weather! Unfortunately, there's no relief in sight; the weather forecast through next week calls for more hot temps and more humidity. Oh, yay. NOT!

My kids are all registered for school and will start Monday. Aaron only gets to go to school one day next week (their way of getting the kids used to school, I guess) and he picked Monday. I know he's excited, but it's going to be a long week for him until he gets to go back! We're working on shoe-tying this weekend so he'll be "all ready" for school.

Random Thoughts on a Hot Day

It's 95 degrees with a dew point of 73 degrees here right now. It's going to get even hotter-there's not a single cloud in the sky. By the end of the day our heat index will probably be 110. Ugh. I'm sick of heat and humidity. We just can't get out of this state fast enough to please me. Here are some random thoughts on this hot day:

Barry Bonds hit his 755th home run last night. We missed it. After watching the Giants play every night for a week, we didn't even think of turning the game on and he hit his 755th to tie Hank Aaron's record. Now, don't get me wrong: I still hate Barry Bonds. I think he's an arrogant asshole and a steroid user. Mike wanted to see Bonds hit the big one, but I was hoping to see Bonds break his leg. Failing that, I would have been happy to see a pitcher throw straight at his head. Oh well.....I guess I can keep dreaming since he hasn't broken the record yet.......

My kids start school in a week. I can't believe how fast the summer went, but it's just about gone. Aaron has no idea that his days of freedom are numbered. He's excited for school, but in a very abstract way. He wants to go to school to (and this is a direct quote from him) "drink chocolate milk every day, have recess and get 10 girlfriends." Ah, yes, he is his father's son. When I told him I'd be lonely at home without him he assured me that Doc and Gracie will keep me company. He's not staying home with me when there are girlfriends to be had!

My new vacuum is still doing an excellent job. Unfortunately, Doc isn't scared of this one, so my daily dose of laughter is gone. I'll have to find another way to torment the stupid thing. He's still positive he could catch a squirrel, bird or lizard if only we'd just let him out of the yard. We've seen a couple deer in the woods behind our house lately and he really goes nuts over them. I'm tempted to let him loose just to see what he'd do, but with my luck he'd never come back.

Last, but not least, keep your fingers crossed for Mike's orders. We're really hoping for a billet here.

Yes, It Sucks!

My new vacuum sucks-and that's a big change from the old one. That one didn't suck at all! ; )

Yes, I'm being punny, but I'm so excited. I bought a Dyson vacuum cleaner today. I'm tired of spend $150 every few years for a new vacuum cleaner. Hopefully, since I spent more than that, this one will last more years.

My last vacuum was a Eureka. Never, ever buy a Eureka. I should have known better. My first vacuum was a Eureka and it started on fire while I was vacuuming! Not good. Then we had a Hoover which barely lasted a year. Then a Dirt Devil which didn't even last a year and then the other Eureka, which died today after three years. This last Eureka, though, was the worst. I've replaced the hose and the beater brush, not to mention umpteen belts (seriously, like one every other month for the past year or so) and bags up the wazoo. My new vacuum has no belts and no bags. I love it! I vacuumed yesterday with the piece of shit and when I vacuumed with the Dyson today it looked like I hadn't vacuumed in months. The canister was FULL. Nasty!

I'm also a very happy girl because I paid *way* less for a Dyson at the Exchange than I would have anywhere else. Yay me!

Happy Birthday, Linda!

My friend Linda has a birthday this week. Bad me, I can't remember if it's today or tomorrow, so I'll cover all bases!

Happy birthday, Linda! I'm still not happy you abandoned me in Tennessee, but I hope your day is a great one!

Lights Out!

I don't know what it is about this area, but our power is constantly going out. It's only for a second or so, but it's long enough to screw everything up!

I'd say in the past week or so we've lost power three times. And it's like this every week, without fail. It's not usually out for long, although there have been a few times where it was out for a couple hours.

Yesterday it just did a quick flash, off and then on again. Of course, that means the DirecTV had to reboot. And the computers had to reboot. The clocks need to be reset. And my dryer stopped. It's gotten to the point that I don't even bother to reset my clocks because I know I'll be doing it again in a few days. I have a good old-fashioned analog clock in my living room, so I rely on that instead of the VCR or microwave.

The thing is, the power isn't going out due to a thunderstorm or rain or anything. It's apparently going out because it can. Or because this is The South and that's the way things work around here. It's just really annoying and yet another reason I can't wait to get the heck out of here!

July Book Review

Moving is Murder by Sara Rosett
© 2006
Kensington Books

It's about time there was a mystery with a military wife as protagonist! Sara Rosett has written an engaging mystery featuring Ellie Avery, Air Force wife and mom to a newborn.

The Avery's have just moved to their new duty station when Ellie discovers the body of a murdered neighbor. Before she knows it, Ellie is drawn into the investigation and her own life may be at stake. Moving is Murder is a delightful book. It's light and cozy, but never cloying. Ellie is not one of those perfect characters-she struggles with a crying baby, bed head and not enough hours in the day, just like the rest of us. But she's also determined and devoted to her family which makes her a very believable amateur sleuth. The details of military life and all it entails are funny-and too true. I personally loved when Ellie mutters to herself that she thought she and her husband had left "yard of the month" competition behind when they left on-base housing. I can relate.

If you're looking for a witty, entertaining read, look no further than Moving is Murder. Rosett's second mystery, Staying at Home is a Killer, is also available from Kensington Books.

The Bronx is Burning

It's been a long time since a television program caught my interest, but after one episode, I'm addicted to The Bronx is Burning on ESPN. The show follows the 1977 Yankees in their pennant race, along with other events occurring in New York City that summer, namely the Son of Sam murders.

The cast is fantastic: Oliver Platt plays George Steinbrenner, John Turturro plays manager Billy Martin and Daniel Sunjata plays Reggie Jackson. Platt's Steinbrenner is just exactly what I always thought Steinbrenner would be like and I can't help but laugh at him. Turturro is perfectly scrappy and greasy, in true Billy Martin style. And Sunjata? Well, he definitely "gets" Jackson's ego.

Unfortunately, this is only an eight-hour miniseries. How disappointing. I mean, really! What could be better than clubhouse gossip, on- and off-the-field rivalries and a few good murders thrown in? What a winner!

Have a Nice Day!

Maybe it's my Midwestern upbringing, or the fact that I'm just a nice person, but I bet I say the words "have a nice day" at least 3 times a day, often to complete strangers. So, tell me, is this something that just isn't done anymore? It seems like lately I get no response when I tell someone to have a nice day. Now, I'm not looking for anyone to tell me to have a nice day, but some people's rudeness just astounds me.

Today the kids and I were out and about. We went to Hancock Fabrics to get some foam and upholstery fabric so I can recover one of our office chairs. I told the lady who rang up my items to have a nice day and she just turned away. Eh, whatever.

At Target the cashier smiled genuinely when I told her to have a nice day and, from the look on her face, she was surprised a customer would say such thing. The library was another non-reaction. Burger King? Well, I'm still thinking about Burger King. It took forever to get our food (in fact, someone in line two cars behind us apparently gave up and just left without their food). When the girl finished handing us our stuff I told her to have a nice day and she grunted at me. Now, there was nothing special about my order. I didn't make her work extra hard or even ask for freaking ketchup and napkins (in fact, I didn't get either of these things). Really, did I deserve a grunt? Talk about rude.

The guards at the gate on base always say thanks when I tell them to have a nice day-and I always say it to them. These poor men and women stand outside for a four-hour shift in the heat of summer and in the cold of winter. Today, I greeted the guard, showed him my ID and told him to have a nice day. He smiled and thanked me and I drove away.

So, what's the deal? I'm always hearing about how polite people in the South are, but that's not my experience. The older people in the South are unfailingly polite. The young people, with the exception of my Target cashier today, seem to be just the opposite.

Oh well, I'm not going to let a bunch of rude people turn me into one of them. I'll keep greeting people politely and thanking them when they've rung up my purchases and I'll even keep telling them to have a nice day, even if they just grunt at me in return.

Independence Day!

Hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July! Celebrate our country's independence safely and don't forget our men and women who are serving in Iraq and Afghanistan. They truly know what it means to make a sacrifice for the freedom of all Americans!

Correction

It has come to my attention that I forgot to pay homage to the most important of Barbie's friends and family, Stacie, Barbie's baby sister. How on earth I could have forgotten Stacie is beyond me. My own sister, also named Stacie (what a coincidence!) gave Marissah a Stacie doll for her birthday or Christmas one year. Forgive me, those holidays all run together.

Last night when I was trying to sleep it occurred to me that my house is Barbie-free. Well, maybe not completely Barbie-free. We still have a sad, lonely set of twin sheets that feature our blonde and beautiful friend but, as my boys are the only ones with twin beds, they don’t get much use. There are no longer any Barbie dolls, clothes, shoes or accessories in our house, though. Not a one. They’ve all gone to the great Barbie emporium in the sky, courtesy of Waste Management, Inc. and Glad Force Flex garbage bags.

The whole Barbie thing at our house started when Marissah was two. My lovely neighbor, who shall remain nameless (her name rhymes with bear-see, just a hint) decided that my daughter needed her first Barbie doll. I was adamant that she did not need her first Barbie—she was two years old! Well, Neighbor-who-shall-remain-nameless got her way and she gave Marissah a Barbie for Christmas. Marissah liked it, of course.

I wasn’t anti-Barbie or anything, but I’m still not sure she’s a great role model for young girls. Let’s face it, when Barbie leaves the “office” at night, we know she’s not going to a museum opening or even home to read a book. No, no, no. Barbie’s heading home to watch Entertainment Tonight and thumb through the latest copy of People to see if there are any articles about her and Ken’s nasty break-up. She’s not volunteering her time at an animal shelter or a soup kitchen, she’s spending hours on the phone with Skipper, dishing out advice (No, Skipper, you simply must wait for him to call. Good girls don’t call boys!). This isn’t even touching Barbie’s totally unrealistic body image. If Barbie were a real woman her measurements would be 38-18-34. I don’t know about anyone else, but my 13-year-old daughter’s waist is bigger than that, by quite a few inches!

Yes, I know there are Teacher Barbie and Astronaut Barbie and probably even Rocket Scientist Barbie, but there is also Barbie and Tanner. Tanner is a dog and he poops. Yes, he poops. Never fear, though, Barbie has her own little pooper scooper and a lovely pink trash bin in which to dispose of Tanner’s waste. And we also have Barbie Divas-these are the new version of that 80s hit, Barbie and The Rockers! Our girls can learn to dress like Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan, just what we’ve always wanted!

I had a few Barbies when I was growing up, but not many. I just wasn’t that into them. My most beloved Barbie wasn’t a Barbie at all. It was Barbie’s friend, Tropical Miko. Now, we all understand Barbie’s friends, don’t we? Most girls never wanted to play with them-they were just “extras.” Face it, Barbie had to have a little competition for Ken’s affections. That’s where Teresa and Skipper and Miko came in. And Miko, well, she’s another story altogether. She’s Barbie’s version of that famous line: “I’m not prejudiced! Some of my best friends are black!”

So while I was lying in bed last night, I was kind of surprised by the little bit of sadness I felt. I’ll never again find a naked Barbie in the fridge or the bathtub. I’ll never again play Barbies with Marissah, teaching her how to dress the dolls and showing her the finer points of color coordination. On the other hand, I’ll never again step on a Barbie shoe in my bare feet in the middle of the night-and that is something for which I am truly thankful! I guess I’m mostly sad that my little girl has grown up and left her Barbies behind. While I was writing this, I turned to Barbie.com for assistance. Marissah noticed and asked what I was doing. I told her I was looking for something. “For me?” she asked. “No,” I told her. “Good!” she said.

Slap Jack!

Aaron has a new favorite game. Yes, we've been playing Slap Jack all. day. long. During one of our rounds I noticed we were short a few cards, three to be exact. I sent him on a treasure hunt to find them, but he only returned with two. Figure the odds on this: of the three cards we were missing, two of them were Jacks. He only found one. Hahaha! Makes Slap Jack a little more interesting, at least.

He beat me the last game and proceeded to sing "Woowoowoowoowoowoowoo!"

When I Rule the World.....

A Louisiana town passed an interesting law this week. They've made the "offense" of wearing sagging pants that show a person's underwear (or "private parts" as the mayor called them) punishable by up to six months in jail and a $500 fine. Read it here.

Now, of course I can't say I agree with this new law. Let's save jail space for the assholes who really deserve it: rapists, murderers, drug dealers and deadbeat parents. But let's have a little fun with this.....

When I rule the world garments containing more than 5% Spandex will be banned on anyone who weighs over 100 pounds. Yeah, that's pretty much everyone and for a damn good reason, too! Spandex doesn't look good on anyone with even a little meat on their bones.

Speedos? We'll never have to see them again once I'm Queen of Everything. Well, maybe I can make an exception for competitive swimmers and divers because, in my opinion, swimmers are extremely sexy and I enjoy seeing their bodies. But they will never be allowed on a public beach again!

Crocs. See previous post.

What would you ban if you ruled the world?

Crocs....Again

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Crocs are yucky. If you weren't convinced before, check out who's wearing them now.

I rest my case.

Big News!

My baby just wrote his name all by himself for the first time!!! He's growing up so fast!

We Now Return to Your Regularly Scheduled Programming

My kids came home from camp yesterday. My house is officially a disaster area again. Only two months until they go back to school.......

Why I Hate Wal-Mart

I've been to Wal-Mart twice today. I'm never going back. Not even for another adorable pair of Happy Bunny pajamas (purple and they say "You'd be cooler if you were me."). I'm just NEVER going back.

Aaron and I went to the Evil W this morning for bread, milk, cigarettes, etc. Got into the Express lane (because that's the only lane you can purchase cigarettes, of course) and proceeded to wait for 20 minutes (maybe even more). The cashier was having trouble and the customer at the front of the line was unsatisfied with her total or something and this required several calls for help and much nitpicking. Finally it was my turn....and it turns out the cashier is also slower than a snail! Sheesh, Aaron could have rung us up faster and he's never worked a register. I was glad to leave, obviously.

Tonight the big kids and I had their final meeting before DEFY camp. They are all signed up and got their long, long lists of things they need so we headed to the Evil W so I wouldn't have to go tomorrow (since I'll be doing laundry to make sure they have enough clothes for camp tomorrow). We got all our travel size toothpastes and shampoos and our toothbrushes and bug spray and got in line to check out. I prefer to use the self checkout and since I didn't need cigarettes, that's where we went. And then we waited. And waited. And waited. Turns out all of the registers decided to crash. All of them. Every. Last. One. I have never seen so many people in line before. I have never seen so many crabby people in line before. It was insane. We waited at least 30 minutes before the registers came back up and then another 5 or 10 before the lady came to restart the self checkout registers. No kidding, I was ready to cry. We finally left the Evil W ninety minutes after we entered the store, and we left without beach towels because when I tried to scan them I learned they had no bar codes anywhere and I'm certain you can understand why I was not willing to ask someone for help.

I'm never going back to that house of horrors again. OK, that's a lie. But I'm not going again for a really long time and at some point I'm sure I'll have to go back because there's nowhere else to shop in this Godforsaken two-bit hick town. UGH!!!!!!