Here it is, the Heathenville Navy's fleet of fighter jets. Commander of the squadron, Admiral Aaron, has been busy making and decorating his planes all day long. It's good to know Heathenville has it's own fighting force at the ready.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Heathenville Navy
Here it is, the Heathenville Navy's fleet of fighter jets. Commander of the squadron, Admiral Aaron, has been busy making and decorating his planes all day long. It's good to know Heathenville has it's own fighting force at the ready.
Weekly Reads
I read four excellent books this week. They were all so good, in fact, that I can't choose a favorite. If you're looking for a good serial killer novel, you can't go wrong with "The Scarecrow" by Michael Connelly. If you're looking to sample another culture, try "A Nail Through the Heart" by Timothy Hallinan. For all forensics, all the time it's Kathy Reichs' "Devil Bones." And last, but certainly not least, Lily Burana's "I Love a Man in Uniform" is the memoir of a former stripper who marries an Army officer.
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Weekly Reads
Are you sick of seeing my weekly reads yet? If you are, don't bother to check my blog on Tuesdays. :)
Another week of great reads here in Heathenville! My favorite read of the week was Jon Krakauer's "Into Thin Air." This book, published in 1997, is about Krakauer's experience climbing Mount Everest in 1996, the year 12 people died on the mountain in one day. It was a fantastic book, highly recommended, even if you don't care at all about mountain climbing.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Hangin' at the River
It's been so hot here in Heathenville that, in the interest of self-preservation, we took the kids to the river last night. I've never been swimming in a river before (and I still haven't LOL), but it was nice. We went with friends and had a little barbecue (turned those burgers with a stick since no one thought to bring a spatula). The kids had a fantastic time and Aaron only needed to be rescued once. Within minutes of getting into the water, Aaron had gone out over his head. Mike had to jump in, fully clothed, and save his little behind. He coughed up a little water and Mike asked him if he was okay. "I'm fine. Put me down," Aaron responded. Then he was back in the water, thankfully a little more aware of his limitations. We stayed until dusk and came home to a much cooler house. It's 10:30 am now and the boys are both still sleeping. I'll be surprised if they wake up before 1 today since they were so tired last night.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
This Week's Reads
Wow, I had a great reading week. Six books and they were all great. I think my favorite was "Vanilla Ride" by Joe R. Lansdale, simply because it's been so long since there was a new Hap and Leonard book. Yay!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
This Week's Reads
Another light reading week for me. Standout this week is "Lust, Loathing and a Little Lip Gloss" by Kyra Davis. In this, the fourth in the Sophie Katz series, Davis borrows a little from the paranormal genre. Excellent read. If you haven't tried the series, start with "Sex, Murder and a Double Latte." Is that a great title or what?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
This Week's Reads
Light reading week for me, as I only finished three books. I started about six, but couldn't get into any of the others. Nothing real stellar this week, just some nice reads.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Doctors and Lawyers and Such.......
So, yesterday I had my first appointment with the civilian doctor who will be treating me for my abnormal pap smears (TMI? Don't worry, I'm not getting into details). I arrived at the clinic right on time and was pleasantly surprised. Complimentary valet parking for clinic patients? Why yes, that sounds just fine. Free WiFi in all waiting rooms? Huh. Providence 2, Navy Clinic 0. There wasn't even a single sign threatening death and dismemberment if I didn't turn off my cell phone. In fact, I leisurely checked my email and Facebook on my BlackBerry while waiting for my appointment. I even texted Meircee from the exam room! But why was it necessary to text Meircee from the exam room? Well, it was necessary because I had the need to vent! The Navy clinic conveniently neglected to forward my chart to the new doctor, making it necessary to repeat the procedure I had already had done. No, this procedure is not a fun one, or even a benign one. I was not a happy camper. Providence 2, Navy Clinic -1
When Dr. Wong made his appearance (at the precise time my appointment was scheduled: Providence 3, Navy Clinic -1), I nearly fell over. He was a Doogie Howser, I swear! My first clue should have been his diploma, hanging on the wall. You know, the one that was dated 2002? Heck, my kids are older than this guy's medical degree. What the hell is up with this? I am not supposed to be older than the doctor. Am I? I'm used to being older than the nurses. The corpsmen (aka nurses) at the Navy clinics have always been younger than me, and that includes when I was a twenty-year-old new mom, but the doctors? Oh no. They are supposed to be much, much older than I am. Apparently this middle-age thing is sneaking into all aspects of my life.
My procedure went just fine (fuzzy covers on the stirrups: Providence 4, Navy Clinic -1) and the doctor and his staff were very nice. My only complaint was with the whole weighing-in thing. At the Navy Clinic they just ask me how much I weigh and take my word for it (heh). Here, they asked me to step on the scale. At first I thought it was weighing me in kilograms, because surely that number couldn't be right. It must be blah blah point blah blah. But alas, it was blah blah BLAH point blah. Erg. Providence 3, Navy Clinic -1.
Now I wait two weeks before my follow-up. Dr. Wong will tell me then what treatment is necessary and then he'll perform the procedure (no more Navy Clinic for me-at least for this). I'll get to experience that valet parking a few more times and then hopefully I can be done with doctors (both older and younger than I) for a long, long time.
When Dr. Wong made his appearance (at the precise time my appointment was scheduled: Providence 3, Navy Clinic -1), I nearly fell over. He was a Doogie Howser, I swear! My first clue should have been his diploma, hanging on the wall. You know, the one that was dated 2002? Heck, my kids are older than this guy's medical degree. What the hell is up with this? I am not supposed to be older than the doctor. Am I? I'm used to being older than the nurses. The corpsmen (aka nurses) at the Navy clinics have always been younger than me, and that includes when I was a twenty-year-old new mom, but the doctors? Oh no. They are supposed to be much, much older than I am. Apparently this middle-age thing is sneaking into all aspects of my life.
My procedure went just fine (fuzzy covers on the stirrups: Providence 4, Navy Clinic -1) and the doctor and his staff were very nice. My only complaint was with the whole weighing-in thing. At the Navy Clinic they just ask me how much I weigh and take my word for it (heh). Here, they asked me to step on the scale. At first I thought it was weighing me in kilograms, because surely that number couldn't be right. It must be blah blah point blah blah. But alas, it was blah blah BLAH point blah. Erg. Providence 3, Navy Clinic -1.
Now I wait two weeks before my follow-up. Dr. Wong will tell me then what treatment is necessary and then he'll perform the procedure (no more Navy Clinic for me-at least for this). I'll get to experience that valet parking a few more times and then hopefully I can be done with doctors (both older and younger than I) for a long, long time.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
This Week's Reads
This week's reads included a spectacular memoir by Meredith Norton about her experience having Inflammatory Breast Cancer. Lopsided was funny (think Augusten Burroughs) and touching. Check it out!
At Long Last
In case you hadn't noticed, Heathenville has been on hiatus. That's fancy-talk for "I've been too lazy to post anything." I've been shamed, cajoled and now *forced* to update, so update I will. ;)
The kids are great. Marissah is still glued to the computer, watching old Friends episodes and enchanting us all with her renditions of Linkin Park songs. Apparently she doesn't realize that she only sings louder with the headphones on.
Micah is taking advantage of the fact that he doesn't have to set an alarm every morning by sleeping until noon every day. Yes, noon. This is the kid who once stayed up until 1 am while we were driving back to California and *still was up bright and early at 7 am. Now he's sleeping until noon. And he's not even a teenager yet!
Aaron continues to make us laugh, even when we want to cry. There was an incident over the weekend involving a banana and my kitchen ceiling that I am still too traumatized to speak about, but rest assured, Aaron was the instigator.
Doc, the fat Lab, is still doing what he does best: barking at anything that moves, and that includes the wind and flies outside. He drives me insane, but he sure does play nicely with the kids and they love him to pieces, so I guess we'll keep him. For now.
The kids are great. Marissah is still glued to the computer, watching old Friends episodes and enchanting us all with her renditions of Linkin Park songs. Apparently she doesn't realize that she only sings louder with the headphones on.
Micah is taking advantage of the fact that he doesn't have to set an alarm every morning by sleeping until noon every day. Yes, noon. This is the kid who once stayed up until 1 am while we were driving back to California and *still was up bright and early at 7 am. Now he's sleeping until noon. And he's not even a teenager yet!
Aaron continues to make us laugh, even when we want to cry. There was an incident over the weekend involving a banana and my kitchen ceiling that I am still too traumatized to speak about, but rest assured, Aaron was the instigator.
Doc, the fat Lab, is still doing what he does best: barking at anything that moves, and that includes the wind and flies outside. He drives me insane, but he sure does play nicely with the kids and they love him to pieces, so I guess we'll keep him. For now.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Caribou Barbie
I heard a radio disc jockey call Sarah Palin "Caribou Barbie" today and it opened so many doors for me. Can you imagine the marketing possibilities? Caribou Barbie with her husband, The First Dude. It would be like the Sunshine Family
for the new millennium. They could come with a little igloo, a family snowmachine instead of a minivan, and the obligatory his-and-hers M-16s. Of course, the set would have to come with a picture of Russia in the background, since Caribou Barbie can see Russia from her house! And don't forget the kids!!! Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig will be immortalized too, just like Skipper! The whole family can cavort by their very own oil well while they hunt moose and polar bears (who says global warming is what's killing the polar bears, anyway?).
for the new millennium. They could come with a little igloo, a family snowmachine instead of a minivan, and the obligatory his-and-hers M-16s. Of course, the set would have to come with a picture of Russia in the background, since Caribou Barbie can see Russia from her house! And don't forget the kids!!! Track, Bristol, Willow, Piper and Trig will be immortalized too, just like Skipper! The whole family can cavort by their very own oil well while they hunt moose and polar bears (who says global warming is what's killing the polar bears, anyway?).
Monday, September 01, 2008
Local News
And here I thought I got away from the rednecks when I left Tennessee. Not so. Reading this article will prove it. This happened about a mile from my house......
Local News
Local News
Friday, July 25, 2008
Traumatized at Safeway
I was traumatized at Safeway tonight. I seriously doubt I'll ever fully recover. I was standing in line at the pharmacy, waiting to pick up Micah's prescription when it happened. I nearly ran from the store, but those meds are important!
It all started because the woman in line ahead of me had a most interesting dress on. It was hot pink with a butterfly pattern all over it. Yes, it would be a bad dress on anyone, but it was an especially poor choice for someone as large as this woman was. Butterflies all over a hot pink dress. That alone would be enough to scare anyone, but then I saw what I thought was a very weird looking butterfly on the back of the dress.......
On second glance, I realized it was not a butterfly at all. It was a hole in the woman's dress. No wait, that's not a hole, that's several holes. Like five holes. Yes, there were five holes in the back of this woman's dress. They were big enough that I could see her hot pink granny panties and her cottage cheese thighs. I almost puked. It's bad enough seeing your own cottage cheese thighs, but nobody wants to see them on someone else. Especially at the grocery store!
I actually pondered telling her about the holes in her dress, thinking maybe she didn't know about them. I decided that anyone who would wear that dress in the first place wouldn't care about a few well-placed holes and decided to leave it alone.
I'm still suffering flashbacks some 5 hours later and I expect they will continue. I probably have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder now......
It all started because the woman in line ahead of me had a most interesting dress on. It was hot pink with a butterfly pattern all over it. Yes, it would be a bad dress on anyone, but it was an especially poor choice for someone as large as this woman was. Butterflies all over a hot pink dress. That alone would be enough to scare anyone, but then I saw what I thought was a very weird looking butterfly on the back of the dress.......
On second glance, I realized it was not a butterfly at all. It was a hole in the woman's dress. No wait, that's not a hole, that's several holes. Like five holes. Yes, there were five holes in the back of this woman's dress. They were big enough that I could see her hot pink granny panties and her cottage cheese thighs. I almost puked. It's bad enough seeing your own cottage cheese thighs, but nobody wants to see them on someone else. Especially at the grocery store!
I actually pondered telling her about the holes in her dress, thinking maybe she didn't know about them. I decided that anyone who would wear that dress in the first place wouldn't care about a few well-placed holes and decided to leave it alone.
I'm still suffering flashbacks some 5 hours later and I expect they will continue. I probably have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder now......
A. P. B.
The Heathenville Chief of Police (a.k.a. Mommy) has issued an all points bulletin for Froggy B. Froggy was last seen Wednesday night prior to bed time. He has not been seen since. A suspect was heard threatening to stuff Froggy in the toilet. The suspect, who is short, blond and six-years-old denies any knowledge of Froggy's whereabouts. A thorough search has been executed, but Froggy was not found. Froggy is 18 inches tall, has green skin and one eye. He was last seen wearing nothing. If you see Froggy, please call the Heathenville Police Dept.
Monday, July 21, 2008
A Heathenville Moment
When you live in Heathenville, as I do, you learn to never, never let your guard down. Heathens, as has been proven time and time again, are capable of anything imaginable. And even a few things unimaginable.
Today my boys were playing together very nicely. This, in itself, is surprising, but you can only imagine the ice water that flowed through my veins when I heard Micah say to Aaron "Let's build a bomb!"
Now, a typical mother, a mother of non-Heathen children, would probably laugh if she heard those words uttered in her presence. Possibly she would chastise her children for speaking of violence. But that's a typical mother. A mother who is secure in her belief that her children would never knowingly blow anything up. I was terrified.
My very first thought upon hearing those words were "Oh my God, where did they learn how to build bombs?" I'm not kidding. My second thought was "Oh my God, what are they going to blow up?" My third thought? "Can I get to them before they detonate?"
The good news is my kids did not blow anything up. They did build a "bomb," but it was fashioned out of a small baby blanket, balled up and when it was dropped it "exploded." Whew. I'm now going to block Google and all other search engines from our computers, though, just in case they decide they want to learn how to build a real bomb. I don't put anything past my kids.
Today my boys were playing together very nicely. This, in itself, is surprising, but you can only imagine the ice water that flowed through my veins when I heard Micah say to Aaron "Let's build a bomb!"
Now, a typical mother, a mother of non-Heathen children, would probably laugh if she heard those words uttered in her presence. Possibly she would chastise her children for speaking of violence. But that's a typical mother. A mother who is secure in her belief that her children would never knowingly blow anything up. I was terrified.
My very first thought upon hearing those words were "Oh my God, where did they learn how to build bombs?" I'm not kidding. My second thought was "Oh my God, what are they going to blow up?" My third thought? "Can I get to them before they detonate?"
The good news is my kids did not blow anything up. They did build a "bomb," but it was fashioned out of a small baby blanket, balled up and when it was dropped it "exploded." Whew. I'm now going to block Google and all other search engines from our computers, though, just in case they decide they want to learn how to build a real bomb. I don't put anything past my kids.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Summer in the Suburbs
Summer has finally arrived in western Washington. The sun is shining, the flowers are growing and we haven't seen a drop of rain in nearly a month! I know, I know. Everyone who has never lived in Washington thinks it rains all year long (I did too). In reality, it rains from October to May and then it's dry, dry, dry.
My yard is beautiful, thanks to the owners of the house who lived here until we moved in. I planted a couple pots full of annuals this spring, but most of them are dead. Thanks to Heidi and Scott I have hydrangeas, daisies, hollyhocks, echinacea, lavender and clematis. It's gorgeous in my backyard, and even better because I know I don't have to mow it!
My kids are officially bored with summer vacation. They big summer dreams of vacations at Disneyland, shopping, carnivals, parades and more. In reality we went to a parade and they were bored silly. We went to the fireworks on July 4th and they were enchanted, but they were over much too soon. No vacation this summer--gas prices are way too high and I have no desire to drive to Disneyland (or, God forbid, DisneyWORLD) with my three heathens.
We're all counting down the days until we see Mike again. This deployment has seemed especially long, even though I thought it wouldn't be "too bad." See, this is the first deployment in which I am not pregnant or taking care of an infant or toddler. Should be a breeze, right? Turns out, older kids miss Daddy more than babies do, and just because there are no diapers to change doesn't mean Mom gets any kind of break. Sigh. On the bright side, I'm meeting Mike in Hawaii at the end of this deployment for a much-needed vacation. That should make up for a lot.......
My yard is beautiful, thanks to the owners of the house who lived here until we moved in. I planted a couple pots full of annuals this spring, but most of them are dead. Thanks to Heidi and Scott I have hydrangeas, daisies, hollyhocks, echinacea, lavender and clematis. It's gorgeous in my backyard, and even better because I know I don't have to mow it!
My kids are officially bored with summer vacation. They big summer dreams of vacations at Disneyland, shopping, carnivals, parades and more. In reality we went to a parade and they were bored silly. We went to the fireworks on July 4th and they were enchanted, but they were over much too soon. No vacation this summer--gas prices are way too high and I have no desire to drive to Disneyland (or, God forbid, DisneyWORLD) with my three heathens.
We're all counting down the days until we see Mike again. This deployment has seemed especially long, even though I thought it wouldn't be "too bad." See, this is the first deployment in which I am not pregnant or taking care of an infant or toddler. Should be a breeze, right? Turns out, older kids miss Daddy more than babies do, and just because there are no diapers to change doesn't mean Mom gets any kind of break. Sigh. On the bright side, I'm meeting Mike in Hawaii at the end of this deployment for a much-needed vacation. That should make up for a lot.......
Friday, May 23, 2008
The Wonder Diet!
Micah saw his new nurse practitioner yesterday and we had some good news. Micah has gained two pounds since his appointment last month! This is pretty big news, because Micah has been hovering right around sixty pounds for the past three years or so. LOL Turns out the best thing for him is Mommy's Deployment Desperation Diet.
Mommy's Deployment Desperation Diet has three main components: fast, easy, tasty. Now, the tasty is up to interpretation for each child, but for Micah it translates into: pizza rolls, chicken nuggets, ramen noodles and cereal. I do cook real meals and I cook them at least four times per week. The trouble is, at least one kid will find complaint with what I make. Aaron and Micah love lemon pepper chicken, but Marissah hates it. Marissah loves fettuccine Alfredo, but the boys hate it. Marissah and Micah love mini-meatloaves but Aaron hates them. There are only a few things that are "real meals" that they will all three eat: pizza, burgers, macaroni and cheese and spaghetti. Yes, I know, calling those things "real meals" is a bit of a stretch, but I take whatever I can get!
In my dreams I cook up delicious gourmet-like meals (using things like Hamburger Helper and canned tuna) and my kids beg for more. In my reality, I make Hamburger Helper and listen to everyone complain. Is it any wonder I have given up and started making chicken nuggets twice a week?
"Whatever works" has become my philosophy. If that means ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner, so be it. He's gained TWO WHOLE POUNDS!!!!! Woo hoo!
Mommy's Deployment Desperation Diet has three main components: fast, easy, tasty. Now, the tasty is up to interpretation for each child, but for Micah it translates into: pizza rolls, chicken nuggets, ramen noodles and cereal. I do cook real meals and I cook them at least four times per week. The trouble is, at least one kid will find complaint with what I make. Aaron and Micah love lemon pepper chicken, but Marissah hates it. Marissah loves fettuccine Alfredo, but the boys hate it. Marissah and Micah love mini-meatloaves but Aaron hates them. There are only a few things that are "real meals" that they will all three eat: pizza, burgers, macaroni and cheese and spaghetti. Yes, I know, calling those things "real meals" is a bit of a stretch, but I take whatever I can get!
In my dreams I cook up delicious gourmet-like meals (using things like Hamburger Helper and canned tuna) and my kids beg for more. In my reality, I make Hamburger Helper and listen to everyone complain. Is it any wonder I have given up and started making chicken nuggets twice a week?
"Whatever works" has become my philosophy. If that means ramen for breakfast, lunch and dinner, so be it. He's gained TWO WHOLE POUNDS!!!!! Woo hoo!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Field Trip with the Demon Spawn
Today was Aaron's class trip to the Seattle Aquarium. We had a wonderful time, in spite of the little heathen who was assigned to me to chaperon. No, I'm not talking about Aaron, who has been known to have his heathenly moments. No, this child I will call Mikey. As in "Mikey doesn't like it." Because this kid didn't like it. Not any of it.
I've never met Mikey before, but I was pretty pleased that the teacher had enough chaperons that we only each had two kids to watch out for. With five- and six-year-olds any more than two is just awful.
Once at the aquarium, I got the boys' name tags on and advised them that they had to stay near me; I wanted them to be able to see me and me to see them. Apparently this went in one ear and out the other, as you can imagine. First we saw a really cool wave aquarium. There were starfish, barnacles, fish, crabs, etc. and the waves were really cool. Mikey thought it was stupid.
Next stop was the tide pool exhibit. Here you could touch the animals and see them from pretty close up. Aaron and I touched starfish, poked sea cucumbers and had our fingers sucked by anemones. Mikey wasn't putting his hand in that water because something might bite it. However, he had seen a picture of an eel and he really wanted to see that. Out of nowhere, a curator steps up and informs Mikey that there are no eels in the tide pool exhibit. Mikey tells her he sees an eel. "See, it's right there!"
"No," she says. "That's not an eel. This guy has fins and eel's don't have fins. Do you see that?"
Believe me, Mikey saw that. He was very disappointed that he didn't see his eel. He had had enough of the tide pools.
We moved on to the jelly fish exhibit, which was very cool. It was a Plexiglas arch that the jelly fish swim through. The boys had their pictures taken in the jellyfish model.
From there we moved on to see the Giant Pacific Octopus. There were two of them, one who was named Dolores. The boys were briefly amused by Dolores when she decided to move from one aquarium to another, connected by a tube. Seems Dolores just isn't in shape anymore and she got stuck. Much laughter ensued.
Our next stop was the diving gear area. The kids were allowed to try on dive gear and have their pictures taken. Aaron was quite content to try on the top, hood and flippers. Mikey wanted the whole nine yards. This was quite a feat since 1) Mikey was fully dressed and 2) the dive suit was about six times too big for him. After much pushing, pulling, tugging and struggling, the suit was on. Then he needed the hood. And the flippers. And the buoyancy vest. Yes, we spent a good 30 minutes trying on dive gear. And then it was time for lunch.
Lunch presented its own problems, as Mikey didn't bring one. Fortunately, one of the other kids in the class had ordered a lunch from the cafeteria and brought one from home, so Mikey got a lunch. Unfortunately, Mikey's sandwich smelled bad. And he doesn't like applesauce. And he only eats carrots with Ranch, which we didn't have. He ended up eating a package of goldfish crackers and most of Aaron's Cheet-os. At one point he did try a bite of the offending sandwich (turkey and cheese on white, no mayo, no mustard, no nothing) and he promptly spit it out. On the floor.
The sea birds exhibit didn't go over well with Mikey either. Aaron and I thought the puffins were adorable, but Mikey thought they were boring. Ditto for the otters, seals and salmon. By this time I was ready to throttle little Mikey, but we'd only been at the aquarium for an hour and I figured it was much too early for throttling.
Because the people who built the aquarium are sick vultures, scheming for every dime, we exited the otter/seal exhibit directly into the aquarium gift shop. Mikey asked me four times why I didn't bring any money along to buy him a toy. Four times. I told him that the next time he goes on a field trip he better tell his mom to send money for toys, because I won't be bringing any then either.
The Underwater Dome was very cool. We saw many different kinds of fish and even, much to my delight, a wolf eel!
"Mikey, look!" I said. "It's a wolf eel!"
"That's not an eel," Mikey said. "It has fins. See! Eels don't have fins."
A lady on the bench beside us interrupted us. "Other eels don't have fins, but wolf eels do." Bless her heart.
But Mikey was having none of it. "That other lady told us eels don't have fins. And that fish, he said, pointing, "has fins. I want to see a real eel."
Not deterred, the lovely lady told Mikey: "Well, when you get home you'll have to look on the Internet for a real eel."
Mikey replied "I don't live with her. I live somewhere else."
My new best friend caught on quickly. Looking directly at me she said, "Well lucky you!"
"Yes," I replied. "Very lucky me."
The rest of our visit was fairly uneventful, except when Mikey lost his "ticket." He had picked up a brochure somewhere along the line and couldn't find it. He mistakenly thought I would take him through the entire aquarium again, looking for it. Not gonna happen, kid. He was pretty miffed, but by then it was almost time to go home.
All in all, Aaron and I did have a good time. But I'm taking my kids back this summer when we can really enjoy it.
And one thing is certain.......Mikey has been crossed of the list of potential play dates.
I've never met Mikey before, but I was pretty pleased that the teacher had enough chaperons that we only each had two kids to watch out for. With five- and six-year-olds any more than two is just awful.
Once at the aquarium, I got the boys' name tags on and advised them that they had to stay near me; I wanted them to be able to see me and me to see them. Apparently this went in one ear and out the other, as you can imagine. First we saw a really cool wave aquarium. There were starfish, barnacles, fish, crabs, etc. and the waves were really cool. Mikey thought it was stupid.
Next stop was the tide pool exhibit. Here you could touch the animals and see them from pretty close up. Aaron and I touched starfish, poked sea cucumbers and had our fingers sucked by anemones. Mikey wasn't putting his hand in that water because something might bite it. However, he had seen a picture of an eel and he really wanted to see that. Out of nowhere, a curator steps up and informs Mikey that there are no eels in the tide pool exhibit. Mikey tells her he sees an eel. "See, it's right there!"
"No," she says. "That's not an eel. This guy has fins and eel's don't have fins. Do you see that?"
Believe me, Mikey saw that. He was very disappointed that he didn't see his eel. He had had enough of the tide pools.
We moved on to the jelly fish exhibit, which was very cool. It was a Plexiglas arch that the jelly fish swim through. The boys had their pictures taken in the jellyfish model.
From there we moved on to see the Giant Pacific Octopus. There were two of them, one who was named Dolores. The boys were briefly amused by Dolores when she decided to move from one aquarium to another, connected by a tube. Seems Dolores just isn't in shape anymore and she got stuck. Much laughter ensued.
Our next stop was the diving gear area. The kids were allowed to try on dive gear and have their pictures taken. Aaron was quite content to try on the top, hood and flippers. Mikey wanted the whole nine yards. This was quite a feat since 1) Mikey was fully dressed and 2) the dive suit was about six times too big for him. After much pushing, pulling, tugging and struggling, the suit was on. Then he needed the hood. And the flippers. And the buoyancy vest. Yes, we spent a good 30 minutes trying on dive gear. And then it was time for lunch.
Lunch presented its own problems, as Mikey didn't bring one. Fortunately, one of the other kids in the class had ordered a lunch from the cafeteria and brought one from home, so Mikey got a lunch. Unfortunately, Mikey's sandwich smelled bad. And he doesn't like applesauce. And he only eats carrots with Ranch, which we didn't have. He ended up eating a package of goldfish crackers and most of Aaron's Cheet-os. At one point he did try a bite of the offending sandwich (turkey and cheese on white, no mayo, no mustard, no nothing) and he promptly spit it out. On the floor.
The sea birds exhibit didn't go over well with Mikey either. Aaron and I thought the puffins were adorable, but Mikey thought they were boring. Ditto for the otters, seals and salmon. By this time I was ready to throttle little Mikey, but we'd only been at the aquarium for an hour and I figured it was much too early for throttling.
Because the people who built the aquarium are sick vultures, scheming for every dime, we exited the otter/seal exhibit directly into the aquarium gift shop. Mikey asked me four times why I didn't bring any money along to buy him a toy. Four times. I told him that the next time he goes on a field trip he better tell his mom to send money for toys, because I won't be bringing any then either.
The Underwater Dome was very cool. We saw many different kinds of fish and even, much to my delight, a wolf eel!
"Mikey, look!" I said. "It's a wolf eel!"
"That's not an eel," Mikey said. "It has fins. See! Eels don't have fins."
A lady on the bench beside us interrupted us. "Other eels don't have fins, but wolf eels do." Bless her heart.
But Mikey was having none of it. "That other lady told us eels don't have fins. And that fish, he said, pointing, "has fins. I want to see a real eel."
Not deterred, the lovely lady told Mikey: "Well, when you get home you'll have to look on the Internet for a real eel."
Mikey replied "I don't live with her. I live somewhere else."
My new best friend caught on quickly. Looking directly at me she said, "Well lucky you!"
"Yes," I replied. "Very lucky me."
The rest of our visit was fairly uneventful, except when Mikey lost his "ticket." He had picked up a brochure somewhere along the line and couldn't find it. He mistakenly thought I would take him through the entire aquarium again, looking for it. Not gonna happen, kid. He was pretty miffed, but by then it was almost time to go home.
All in all, Aaron and I did have a good time. But I'm taking my kids back this summer when we can really enjoy it.
And one thing is certain.......Mikey has been crossed of the list of potential play dates.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Spring Has Sprung
Apparently spring is a different animal here in the Pacific Northwest than in other places I've lived. Last Saturday it was a gorgeous 80 degrees with tons of sunshine. Today it's snowing off and on. Welcome to Washington.
Since we've moved here I've heard the phrase "Just wait until summer. Summers here are fantastic" more times than I can count. And I'm beginning to think everyone has been lying to me. Or maybe they really do mean summer is wonderful, as opposed to spring. Maybe summer doesn't actually start here until the end of June (God, please don't let this be true).
The weather here is really starting to get ridiculous. My tulips are trying to bloom and they're now covered with snow. The cherry trees are sporting their fragrant pink blossoms....and they're covered with snow. Even without the snow, I can count the number of sunny days we've had since we've been here on one hand. That's no lie. Contrary to popular belief, it does not always rain here, but it is almost never sunny. At least not until June, I guess.......
Since we've moved here I've heard the phrase "Just wait until summer. Summers here are fantastic" more times than I can count. And I'm beginning to think everyone has been lying to me. Or maybe they really do mean summer is wonderful, as opposed to spring. Maybe summer doesn't actually start here until the end of June (God, please don't let this be true).
The weather here is really starting to get ridiculous. My tulips are trying to bloom and they're now covered with snow. The cherry trees are sporting their fragrant pink blossoms....and they're covered with snow. Even without the snow, I can count the number of sunny days we've had since we've been here on one hand. That's no lie. Contrary to popular belief, it does not always rain here, but it is almost never sunny. At least not until June, I guess.......
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