Honey, Sweetie, Dear

I'm tired of being called cutesy little names by complete strangers. It's true that Southerners are exceedingly polite. It's also true that they are exceedingly familiar with complete strangers.

Today at the commissary I was called "Baby" by the bagger. Not once, not twice, but three times in a very short interaction. Honey, Sweetie and Dear all grate on my nerves, it's true, but to be called "Baby" by a total stranger just grosses me out. My own husband doesn't call me Baby (and he doesn't call me Erica either, it's always "Sweetie.") so why on earth should the bagger at the commissary? I don't have much problem with old women who call me by these endearments, but this woman was my age or a little older-not elderly by a long shot. I was half-tempted to reach into her tip can and take back the tip I had given her.

I also hate to be called "Ma'am." I am much too young to be a "Ma'am," right? But I'm getting used to it and my kids are getting used to using "Ma'am" and "Sir" at school. At first I thought Marissah was being sassy when she started replying to me with "yes Ma'am" but now I know she's being taught that in school. It's a respectful thing, but it doesn't make that much difference to me. Micah will probably never catch on. For the most part, social niceties have to be beaten into his head over a several-year time span before he catches on. :)

Aaron has lately taken to calling me "Chooka." He's "Wooka." It goes back to a game I used to play with Marissah and Micah when they were little where I'd give them piggy-back rides and we'd all chant "Wooka Chooka" while we ran around the house. I have no idea where "Wooka Chooka" came from, but Micah started it. Aaron thought it was so funny the first time I called him "Wooka" that it's stuck. It's the only thing I can call him except Aaron without being corrected by him.

His name is George

Marissah's boyfriend, that is. I just found out that she has a boyfriend from a little birdie today because Marissah didn't tell me herself. Apparently she thought Daddy was serious all those times he told her she isn't allowed to date until she's 35. In any case, I pried it out of her (it wasn't hard) and she told me all about him. He sounds very nice. She made me promise not to tell Mike. Wouldn't you know it, I slipped at dinner and ended up telling him the whole thing. ;) Amazingly enough, Daddy wasn't mad at all. No threats of shotguns or chastity belts were made. I was proud of him.

I can't believe my little girl is growing up so fast. It's scary and exciting all at the same time.

And, if anyone cares, apparently the correct terminology these days is "BFGF." As in "Marissah and George are BFGF." I am getting so old.

Aspirations

As parents we always push our kids to do their best, but also to be happy. Recent conversations with my kids have revealed some of their aspirations....

As Marissah and I argued over her doing the dishes incorrectly a few weeks ago, I asked her who she thought was going to be doing them for her when she grew up. Without missing a beat she told me her husband would do dishes. After I fell on the floor laughing and informed her of how things really are, she informed me her friends will come over and do the dishes for her. Everyone, write a note to yourselves now: If Marissah invites you over anytime after she's graduated from high school it's a safe bet she's planning to put you to work.

For quite a while now Micah has insisted he's never getting married. Not only does he not want to kiss girls, he doesn't want any kids because he doesn't want anyone "bugging" him by talking to him. (The fact that he recognizes that kids do this and yet he continues to do it to his parents is pretty telling, don't you think?) Just last week he told me he's changed his mind and he will get married and have two kids (no more, no less). He told me he decided he'd have kids because "I will be able to command them to do things for me." He also plans to get a tattoo when he grows up. "I love frogs" in orange ink. Yikes.

Who knows where Aaron will end up. When I asked him what he's going to be when he grows up all he could come up with was "an Incredible." Hey, can't dream much bigger than to be a super hero, can you? I hope to God he actually means he wants to be an Incredible and not just continue to play the video game, day in and day out, for the rest of his life......

Rain!

It's rained all day long-the 5 pm news said we've had almost two inches and it's supposed to continue through the night. I'm not complaining! We really need the rain and it's nice to have a lazy, dreary day sometimes.

I should know better, though, than to go out and drive in this crap! I may have previously mentioned how clueless Tennessee drivers are. Ugh! I was actually impressed today, I only saw FIVE cars driving without their lights in a total downpour. And it was 4 pm as well, so it was really getting dark. Idiots.

Mine!

I got into bed last night only to discover someone had stolen my pillow. I first checked downstairs and didn't find it. Then I checked the next likely place, Marissah's room. She's been known to steal pillows from every other member of this household, but not this time. Micah's room was my next stop, but it wasn't there either. That left Aaron, my littlest Heathen. Now, I wouldn't expect Aaron, of all my kids, to steal my pillow because he is very attached to his own pillow. Well, actually it's not the pillow he's attached to, but the pillowcase, or pillowsheet, as he calls it. He just adores my gray Martex 250-thread count pillowcases. Go figure.

As I entered his room I saw what had happened right away. Aaron did have my pillow.....because I had the other gray Martex 250-thread count pillowcase on it. Well, of course, he wasn't going to let me have that pillow. He insisted it was his own, even after I went downstairs and got his real pillow from the living room. No way, no how. I even tried a behind-the-back trick, but he wasn't fooled. He told me his pillow was warm and he wasn't taking the cold one. Sheesh.

Finally, I did what any sane mother would do. I waited until he fell asleep and pulled my pillow right out from under his sweet, sleeping head. Never fear, I left his pillow for him, but I'll be damned if anyone's stealing my pillow. Not even my kids.

Girls' Night Out

Yes! I had a "Girls' Night Out" last night with my friend Linda. We're such wild and crazy party animals, you know. We went to Haverty's (furniture store) and Target. Wow, bet you never thought I could get that extreme, did you?

Truth is, I really needed a night away from the kids and it didn't matter where I went. They were whiny and crabby and, frankly, I was just sick of them. So Linda and I went to Haverty's and window-shopped for beds and sofas. I found a mattress/boxspring I really want, but who in the world pays $4000 for a set? Not me, that's for certain. If I did I'd never get OUT of the bed.

Neither of us spent much money at Target (quite a feat for me, especially when you consider the fact that I have to drive 30 minutes to get to Target so I usually save up all my Target shopping for one big trip). I found myself a replacement for my very favorite black t-shirt (also bought at Target, several years ago). It was a great shirt, fit me perfectly, washed up like a dream and I wore it until it was literally falling apart. I still sometimes go to my closet thinking I'll wear my black t-shirt and then realize I no longer have it.

But the best part of the evening wasn't the shopping or making fun of the sales guy in Haverty's (because we would never do that!), it was the company. Women need other female friends. Friends they can laugh and joke with and be themselves with. Both Linda and I are transplants to Tennessee. She and her family moved here just over a year ago from Michigan. We all know it can be hard to make new friends, friends we are truly comfortable with, but I'm happy to say I've found one in Linda.

Let it snow!

Yes, you read that correctly....SNOW! It snowed here today, for all of five minutes. Now this is one of the top five reasons I hate the South (and, believe me, I have hundreds). It's COLD here in the winter. No, not Minnesota-cold, like I grew up with, but from December through February it's about 35 degrees here during the day and colder at night. And yet, there is never any snow to show for those cold temperatures. Last year we got a whopping two inches, all in one day, and that was it for winter. Did I mention that snow fell on December 23? Well, it did. It was gone by the 26th and we saw not one more measly flake.

And don't even get me started on the Southerners' reaction to snow or (God forbid) ice. I couldn't even count how many churches canceled their Christmas Eve and Christmas Day services last year because of two inches of snow. The sand trucks were out (and it was a dump truck with two guys tossing gravel onto the road with shovels, I kid you not!) and people either drove like they were in an off-road competition or like they'd never even seen that powdery white stuff before. Sheesh. Everyone here should be required to drive in snow at least once before they can get a driver's license. Of course, that's probably asking a lot since they don't even require teens to take behind-the-wheel training.

Anyway, the kids were thrilled with watching the snow fall (it all melted practically before it hit the ground) and Mike is praying for a day off tomorrow. He'll probably get it-it rained all day (actually had a thunderstorm last night) and it's only getting colder and we all know how these people react to ice......

A taste of childhood

It wasn't too long ago that my mom and I were talking about the cinnamon raisin bread we could buy at the bakery in my hometown of Dassel, MN.

I worked at the Dassel Bake Shop when I was in high school. It wasn't a great job, but it wasn't bad either. On Saturday mornings I sliced bread, waited on customers and cleaned the display cases. And always, I ate. People always asked if I got tired of donuts, brownies, etc. Not a chance. I would still do almost anything for a long john from the Dassel Bakery. Unfortunately, that's never going to happen since it closed several years ago. Today, though, I found one lonely loaf of cinnamon raisin bread at the bakery in the Commissary here on base. It even had white icing, which was the thing that separated Dassel's cinnamon bread from all others. I bought it and ate three pieces as soon as I got home (lightly toasted, lightly buttered). It was delicious, but still can't hold a candle to the stuff Chuck and Tony made in Dassel.

You watched WHAT?

Marissah has been studying Greek mythology in school. They've watched a few movies and read some stories and I've always laughed when she's told me which ones they just covered because she has trouble pronouncing the names. Last night beat everything else though. I asked what she did in school and she said: "We watched a movie. You know, that one about Uterus and whoever." I laughed until I thought I'd pee my pants and then finally, through some questioning, learned that she mean Eurydice. She was very offended that Mike and I laughed at her, but we pointed out it's no different from the family tale we tell about Micah calling a Texaco station "Testicle."

Just Like Daddy!

Aaron came downstairs yesterday with a pair of Mike's dress socks on. They came up to his thighs. He said "Look! I'm just like Daddy!" He then handed me a pair and instructed me to put them on so I could be just like Daddy too! What fun!

Grounded.

Yes, it's true. Aaron grounded me yesterday. Turns out I said "the bad word." Now, "the bad word" changes from hour to hour (sometimes minute to minute) and it's never a really bad word (only because he doesn't know any yet), but yesterday I said it. I think it was "SpongeBob." Anyway, Aaron told me: "Ohhhh, you said the bad word. You're busted!" I asked him what he was going to do to me and he said "I'm going to send you to your room and turn off the light and shut the door and make you take a nap!" Apparently I showed entirely too much excitement at the mere thought of a nap and he changed his mind. No punishment, this time, but I have a feeling I better watch my mouth. ;)

My husband, the reader????

Mike's been reading Digital Fortress by Dan Brown and apparently loving it. I've never known him to read something so fast and to be so excited to get back to a book. He's stayed up late the past three nights reading it and I just came into the computer room to find him reading in front of the computer. He said he was waiting for something to load so he just figured he'd read while he waited. I'm now left wondering what the aliens did with my real husband....and which book I should get for him next!

Bubbles!

Now, I like bubbles as much as the next person, but I do not like them when they are spewing out of my dishwasher all over my kitchen floor. Yes, you guessed it. Someone put regular dishsoap in the dishwasher. It was not me.

Marissah is my dishwasher-in-training. She's been in training for about 3 years now. It's not going as planned. In fact, I told her tonight I won't let her date until she proves to me she knows how to do dishes. ;) And this is what I get in return. I would think it was a mistake or that she just didn't know what would happen or even that we were out of Electrasol, but she's done this before. Yikes. When I saw the mess she said "I guess some regular soap got in there, huh?" Hmmm...I guess so.

Sofia Noelle

Mike and I have a new niece. His sister, Stephanie, and her husband, Brandon, welcomed Sofia Noelle on December 9. She's a beauty and I'm dying to get to Virginia to see her and her big sister Michaela.


Now, if my own siblings would give me some nieces and nephews I'd be very happy. I love to hug and cuddle and spoil babies, but there is no way in hell I'm having another one! So hurry up!

Should I Start To Worry Yet?

I'm beginning to think Aaron is a little.....off. Yeah, that's a good word. It all started with the tadpoles we tried to hatch last summer. That wonderfully educational project was brought to an abrupt end by Aaron himself. He decided to make bubble solution of the water for the tadpoles. Killed every last one of them in very short order.

I've also watched him gleefully kill spiders (not because he's afraid of them) and bury his sister's Polly Pocket doll in the backyard (and then exhume her and put her in the fridge for safe keeping. No, he's never watched CSI.). Today he was trying to decapitate his Army guys. Yikes. Is this where a psychiatrist should step in? Am I going to really regret not having dragged him to the loony bin when he's 25?

Three, going on 25....

I was dressing Aaron today in his brand new jeans and "lizard shirt" before we took my van in to be fixed. As I was helping him with the shirt I said, "You are going to look so handsome today!" He responded with: "And young, too!" Talk about an understatement!

We had to ride in Daddy's car after we dropped the van off and Aaron was very impressed at the speed of Christine. (In case you didn't know, I call Mike's TransAm "Christine" because she very obviously hates me.) At one point Aaron told Daddy "This car stinks!" No idea if he was speaking literally or figuratively, but it's nice to know someone agrees with me.

And speaking of my van, there is nothing better than having a warranty! It was leaking transmission fluid and we only had to pay $31 to have it fixed. If that happened to Christine it would probably cost $3000 to fix, right?

I'm finally starting my own blog. I'm usually too lazy for this, but since my mom is currently in Hawaii and will soon be on Midway Atoll I thought I'd kind of keep track of things around here for her while she's gone.

As a little side-trip, I'll tell you that my mom is assisting with an albatross count on Midway Atoll. She has worked for the US Fish and Wildlife Service for many years as a secretary. She and two of her co-workers are helping with counting the albatross nests on Midway this year and I am so jealous! I'd have loved to go with her, but, alas, I have Heathens to tend to!

This morning Aaron, age 3, awoke with tales of his first (that we've heard about) nightmare. He was pretty sure he was going to be eaten by donkeys, but fortunately he's much too big. He told me all about the dream, in vivid detail. He was really upset, but calmed down eventually. Of course, that was only after he went upstairs and checked each and every bedroom for evidence of lingering donkeys. He told both Mike and I that if the donkeys come back we should "kick their butts." I didn't even know this child knew what donkeys were, much less that he was afraid of them!

Marissah and Micah went back to school today after their way-too-long winter break. It was so nice to have some quiet around the house again. Marissah did nothing at school, of course. But she did have homework so she must have done something. She just chooses not to share that information with me, I guess. Micah said today was "the best thing in his life" because he learned division! He then went on to tell me that 12 divided by 3 is 3, so I guess we have some more work to do before he's a divising genius. ;)

Dinner was full of the usual complaints form Micah (he hates ham), the arguments from Marissah (nearly everything I said was contradicted by Her Highness) and the entertainment was provided (again) by Aaron. He really has a talent for imitations and tonight he performed a few scenes from his all-time favorite show, SpongeBob Squarepants. This child definitely has a future as an actor!

Tomorrow I get to go to court for my speeding ticket (not as big a deal as it sounds, but it was on the Navy base, so it's mandatory). It's not a real courtroom/judge thing, I just have to show up and be contrite and that should be it (she says, crossing her fingers). The kids were worried I'd end up in jail, but that's not a possibility. Too bad. I could use the vacation. I can't believe my *perfect driving record of nearly 16 years has been sullied by going a mere 13 miles over the speed limit. Oops. I truly didn't realize the speed limit was only 25 on that street, not that my ignorance is any excuse. I guess.