Holiday Photos

When I was pregnant with Aaron and having anxiety attacks over how I was going to parent three kids, my friend Dawn gave me a tip. She told me that the hardest part of having three kids was taking pictures. Naturally, I scoffed at her. That's what clueless people do, you know. And then I had three kids and tried to take pictures of all three of them and it was hell.

I skipped family Christmas photos last year. I just could not bring myself to go through the torture. So I knew this year I was going to have to bite the bullet and take them, lest friends and family think I'm hiding my children from them or something. On Saturday I made all the kids dress in red and I broke out the adorable little Santa hats I bought for the dogs. Kids and dogs gathered around the tree and I took up the camera. And that's where my whole plan fell apart.

Doc, the puppy, was not going to wear the hat. No freaking way. I swear, if he could talk he would have said something along the lines of "Are you out of you ever-lovin' mind, woman?" Okay, no hats on the dogs. Gracie was willing to wear hers (or too stupid to realize it was on her head), but it would look ridiculous with just one dog wearing a hat.

Now that we've removed the hats, Gracie has decided she's not up to having her picture taken. Maybe it was a bad hair day. I don't know, but whenever we tried to get her to sit for a picture she immediately walked away. Okay, scratch the dogs. Kids only in the picture. This will work.

I got everyone posed just so and snapped a quick picture. Checked it out in the viewing screen and realized I had left the digital date on it. ARGH!!!!! I reset the camera so the date would not show up on what I was still convinced were going to be my perfect family photo Christmas cards and we were ready to go again.

Except we weren't.

After 10 minutes of cajoling, I couldn't get them to sit still. I thought maybe if they sat on the couch they'd do better. I was wrong. This is the picture I managed to snap just after I told them they were going to be grounded from everything if they didn't sit nice and smile.





Marissah loves her cheesy smiles and Micah and Aaron can't sit next to each other without messing around. The proof is right here.


And now, of course, Doc changes his mind and decides he should be in the picture. On the couch. Did I mention it's not even six months old yet and I really don't like animals on the furniture. Well, I decided to bend my rule for the sake of the Ultimate Christmas Photo. (Who the hell am I kidding?!)



One more picture and I'm ready to hang it up. Get the damn dog on your lap, look and me and smile pretty. I think I may have threatened to pull ears, but I may have just wished that.




What the hell. Enough. I'm sending out the picture with the date stamp on it. Do you know what pisses me off the most? I spent 45 minutes taking these pictures and I end up using the very first one I took.

Dawn, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I ever doubted you. I stand humbled before you. I can't do this again. Next year it's JC Penney portrait studio or nothing.