Field Trip with the Demon Spawn

Today was Aaron's class trip to the Seattle Aquarium. We had a wonderful time, in spite of the little heathen who was assigned to me to chaperon. No, I'm not talking about Aaron, who has been known to have his heathenly moments. No, this child I will call Mikey. As in "Mikey doesn't like it." Because this kid didn't like it. Not any of it.

I've never met Mikey before, but I was pretty pleased that the teacher had enough chaperons that we only each had two kids to watch out for. With five- and six-year-olds any more than two is just awful.

Once at the aquarium, I got the boys' name tags on and advised them that they had to stay near me; I wanted them to be able to see me and me to see them. Apparently this went in one ear and out the other, as you can imagine. First we saw a really cool wave aquarium. There were starfish, barnacles, fish, crabs, etc. and the waves were really cool. Mikey thought it was stupid.

Next stop was the tide pool exhibit. Here you could touch the animals and see them from pretty close up. Aaron and I touched starfish, poked sea cucumbers and had our fingers sucked by anemones. Mikey wasn't putting his hand in that water because something might bite it. However, he had seen a picture of an eel and he really wanted to see that. Out of nowhere, a curator steps up and informs Mikey that there are no eels in the tide pool exhibit. Mikey tells her he sees an eel. "See, it's right there!"

"No," she says. "That's not an eel. This guy has fins and eel's don't have fins. Do you see that?"

Believe me, Mikey saw that. He was very disappointed that he didn't see his eel. He had had enough of the tide pools.

We moved on to the jelly fish exhibit, which was very cool. It was a Plexiglas arch that the jelly fish swim through. The boys had their pictures taken in the jellyfish model.


From there we moved on to see the Giant Pacific Octopus. There were two of them, one who was named Dolores. The boys were briefly amused by Dolores when she decided to move from one aquarium to another, connected by a tube. Seems Dolores just isn't in shape anymore and she got stuck. Much laughter ensued.

Our next stop was the diving gear area. The kids were allowed to try on dive gear and have their pictures taken. Aaron was quite content to try on the top, hood and flippers. Mikey wanted the whole nine yards. This was quite a feat since 1) Mikey was fully dressed and 2) the dive suit was about six times too big for him. After much pushing, pulling, tugging and struggling, the suit was on. Then he needed the hood. And the flippers. And the buoyancy vest. Yes, we spent a good 30 minutes trying on dive gear. And then it was time for lunch.

Lunch presented its own problems, as Mikey didn't bring one. Fortunately, one of the other kids in the class had ordered a lunch from the cafeteria and brought one from home, so Mikey got a lunch. Unfortunately, Mikey's sandwich smelled bad. And he doesn't like applesauce. And he only eats carrots with Ranch, which we didn't have. He ended up eating a package of goldfish crackers and most of Aaron's Cheet-os. At one point he did try a bite of the offending sandwich (turkey and cheese on white, no mayo, no mustard, no nothing) and he promptly spit it out. On the floor.

The sea birds exhibit didn't go over well with Mikey either. Aaron and I thought the puffins were adorable, but Mikey thought they were boring. Ditto for the otters, seals and salmon. By this time I was ready to throttle little Mikey, but we'd only been at the aquarium for an hour and I figured it was much too early for throttling.

Because the people who built the aquarium are sick vultures, scheming for every dime, we exited the otter/seal exhibit directly into the aquarium gift shop. Mikey asked me four times why I didn't bring any money along to buy him a toy. Four times. I told him that the next time he goes on a field trip he better tell his mom to send money for toys, because I won't be bringing any then either.

The Underwater Dome was very cool. We saw many different kinds of fish and even, much to my delight, a wolf eel!

"Mikey, look!" I said. "It's a wolf eel!"

"That's not an eel," Mikey said. "It has fins. See! Eels don't have fins."

A lady on the bench beside us interrupted us. "Other eels don't have fins, but wolf eels do." Bless her heart.

But Mikey was having none of it. "That other lady told us eels don't have fins. And that fish, he said, pointing, "has fins. I want to see a real eel."

Not deterred, the lovely lady told Mikey: "Well, when you get home you'll have to look on the Internet for a real eel."

Mikey replied "I don't live with her. I live somewhere else."

My new best friend caught on quickly. Looking directly at me she said, "Well lucky you!"

"Yes," I replied. "Very lucky me."

The rest of our visit was fairly uneventful, except when Mikey lost his "ticket." He had picked up a brochure somewhere along the line and couldn't find it. He mistakenly thought I would take him through the entire aquarium again, looking for it. Not gonna happen, kid. He was pretty miffed, but by then it was almost time to go home.

All in all, Aaron and I did have a good time. But I'm taking my kids back this summer when we can really enjoy it.

And one thing is certain.......Mikey has been crossed of the list of potential play dates.